New York Post Dating: Meet A Man Who Could Sell Ice To Eskimos

Linky linky.
Wow, Jason is that good. I've marveled for the past two weeks at Jason's strong dating profile, and The Closer made his potential a reality when he took Elizabeth-who-looks-like-Bree out on a date that went fabulously.

Details? Bree is just a sweet girl from Virginia who likes her men polite, charming, and handsome. Her type of man is listed in the dictionary under the word "suitor." Jason, who never met a customer he couldn't sell to, took on the role of suitor and acted as the perfect gentleman. He even brought her flowers to the date! What a guy!

The best quote, if I could pick just one:

"She mentioned that she was happy "not to get someone sarcastic" so I was like, that was lucky! Usually I am more like that. But Elizabeth was so nice that I didn't want to joke around with her in that way, or make her uncomfortable.... But also, it's part of the strange thing about dating, right? Her personality - which is very polite and charming - made me want to be polite and charming as well."

I told you, this guy is good. That's why he's The Closer. If there were a Meet Market Hall of Fame, this guy would be one of the charter inductees.

Anyway, Bree wants to keep seeing him, and they're going to the movies this week, so score a win for Tom and Mackenzie. We've got a three-week winning streak going here, going back to Dena's back-on-the-scene date. (Not to rain on the parade, but we needed a winning streak after this disaster).

Who's up next? Another recycled Meet Market candidate! It's Elyse, the girl who blew away the polls three weeks ago. No new information here - she's cute, but she's got a weird, sometimes contradictory profile - so I'll just include this picture caption copied exactly as-is from the Post's website:

She's not afraid to laza around!.

This dating ad has been brought to you by the Tom Sykes and Mackenzie Dawson Parks Graduate School of Language and Literature. Enrlol [sic] today!

Three fun guys to choose from this week:

John's a mid 20's actor, going for the bedheaded look. He looks like he bats for the other team, no? Well, according to the New York Times, you just can't tell anymore... vaguely gay is hot now. (Or was, before they mentioned it) Anyway, we'll assume that he's just an expensively dressed metrosexual hetero male. He likes to sleep in on the weekends, which somewhat fits Elyse's lifestyle as described in her profile. So he's definitely in the hunt. Now, time for a story break:

What was your worst date ever? It was my junior prom, and my date was in on a sick joke with my ex-girlfriend to make sure I didn't have a good time. When we got to the prom, my date informed me that she doesn't dance and was just going to sit down all evening. That might not seem so bad, except that I am a dancer and loved to dance the night away at school dances. Not that night. I just sat.

Ah, a male actor who dresses expensively and loves to dance? If anything, look for this guy in the Times' Sunday Styles section soon! He's practically made for them!

Next, Phillipe is a mid 20's law student. A quick aside: how do female daters really look upon law students? I can't tell. I mean, such men would be very intelligent and have excellent earnings potential, but they're still in school. Also, they're most likely broke. Do women embrace the brains, or do they lack the patience to hang out with a guy who has no money and little time to himself? Anyway, back on track - He's a little funny looking (handsome, yet his clothes fit oddly big, and he's got that head-tilt smile that should have qualified this photo to be shredded and burned). He likes farmers' markets, for undisclosed reasons (I don't think I'd want to know). And then there's this - he's got a bad case of BBD, revealed with the following quote about the NY dating scene:

...it's like an all-you-can-eat buffet, where you eat too much and feel sick.

Naturally, I have a billion wise-ass remarks right about now. To start, reading Phillipe's profile doesn't overfill me, but rather presents me with a straight case of food-poisoning. Or, indeed, NYC is like an all-you-can-eat buffet - a tits-and-ass smorgasboard, except all the food's been out a little too long. And, if you do indulge too much in the dating scene, you won't only be emotionally sick, but you'll also probably catch a few illnesses along the way. This quote is rich in metaphors. And Phillipe is rich in not-getting-picked-for-a-date.

Then, we have Evan, a mid-20's editorial assistant. Another quick observation, we have a pretty good representation of young-20's male professionals here. The artsy type, the high-flying-job type, and the media type. Continuing:

I also have a very serious side, and like having intellectual conversations.

I know some people don't think of themselves as idiots, but you simply must figure out a better way of expressing that sentiment than saying "I like having intellectual conversations." Especially for a guy who works in publishing! More about Evan: he likes tapas, loves his iPod, and hates smoking. He wants an intelligent girl with whom he can listen to his Postal Service CD (hipster band of the day). Fair enough, although I find all of this to be a bit too artificially highbrow - I mean, what does an EA make in NYC? Not more than $35,000 right? That's not paying for any kind of sushi that I'd willingly eat. (yet another stomach-illness reference)

Okay, so what's the verdict here? It's Evan on one condition - Elyse must not smoke. Considering all other things, their tastes are probably a close match and I think Elyse will be well-entertained enough to consider future dates. (Love? I don't think anyone here is ready. Let's just try for a match that won't bore Elyse to death) The voters agree with my assessment, giving Evan 75% of the vote. John wouldn't be a bad pick either, assuming that he dates females. (You'd think that would be a sure thing, right? We've seen worse fuckups in this dating column) Phillipe, meanwhile, gets his profile back dripping with red ink from revision marks - he looks like a nice and interesting guy, so I think he's got great potential if he can get the words right.

And with that, I bid you mehalo.

New York Post Dating: So Cute It Hurts

Another fine week in dating land - and no, I'm not being sarcastic. For Megan chose underdog Matt, and Matt proved to be a fine choice. The picture of the daters together shows them drinking out of the same glass through two straws! How cute! It's won't be long before they're calling each other "honey" and rubbing noses together on a park bench. Lord help us.

Need proof? Says Megan:

The highlight of the date was when the photographer was taking pictures of us near a garden and my heel got caught in the dirt and I tripped and almost fell, but Matt caught me.

and:

Hopefully, on my next date I won't trip again. But if I do end up falling, having a guy like Matthew to catch me would be A-OK.

And if you're not nauseous enough already, our friend Tom signed a multi-million book deal to write a memoir recently. Not to piss in his cereal (seriously, congrats man), but where's this all this fucking money when I want to write something about my life? I don't get nearly that much to talk about myself; people usually give me a dollar just to go away.

Well, enough with the happy news. It's time to discuss next week's daters, and there's nothing happy about sending two girls home. Especially when the man of choice this week is Jason, the closer! Yes, they recycled him already in just one week's time - if you recall, he was the one I picked last week over Matt. Well, I guess he's just that good.

Our choice this week is easy. Three girls, Virnalisa, Elizabeth, and Chun. Let's see what Virnalisa says:

What three things can you not live without? Music, cell phone and travel.

Cell phone? Instant rejection.

We'll skip ahead to Chun:

What three things can you not live without? A cellphone, food and friends - if friends count as a "thing!"

I'm glad to see that friends are only two steps down the priority list from a cellphone. You know, some people put FreshDirect and Starbucks in-between those two on the list. Anyway, she's out.

Am I being dismissive too quickly? Yes. I'll tell the truth - I don't know if extra-pretty-boy Jason would be entirely compatible with Virnalisa and Chun. They're both cute girls, and they seem to have decent personalities, but I have a hunch that they're not enough like Jason to even be friends with him. Jason would likely think both are sweet girls, but it would be over after the free meal. I sense a cultural and physical attraction divide that is simply too wide to cross. And no, Jason is not too good for either of these two - as a matter of fact, Virnalisa might be the type of girl that you'd want to marry. I'm babbling now, so let's continue with the next profile...

... And we have Bree, newly widowed from her husband Rex's untimely death. No! Stop it! Her name is Elizabeth. She might look almost exactly like one of the Desperate Housewives (down to the slightly sharp-looking facial angles), but that's just a TV show! Liz is a real person. And we'll be calling her Bree from now on. Her profile suggests that she's neither a bore nor a heinous beast, so Jason should be happy. While we're here, let's take another story break:

What was your worst date ever? It's a tie - the guy with the extreme facial twitch, or the guy who took me to dinner on a "buy one meal, get one free" coupon, and then suggested we split the check.

Hey, I didn't mean to be so cheap on that date, Bree - it's just that my unemployment check got delayed in the mail that week! (Yuk yuk yuk...)

My vote's with Bree. A majority of the online voters agree. Of course, none of that matters, because The Closer makes the pick. (Desperate Housewives, The Closer - is this Dating or TV listings?)

See you next week...

New York Post Dating: Second Place is a Set Of Steak Knives (but unfortunately, no visits from the chef)

Just in case you need a reminder, here's where to go to find the world's bestest ever dating column...

Dena could have picked Ari (I see that half of the online readers did), but instead went with Dan (who I surmised may have ego problems and lusty intentions; am I allowed to say that about other people if that's a perfect description of myself? Just asking). How did the date go? Let's find out:

First, I should mention that they went to "a brand-new hot spot, Ludo, in the East Village." Ludo's landlord just revised next year's lease and added a few zeroes at the end of the rent. Anyway,

He said: Dena looked great, and she has an easy conversational style, which made the date very easy.

Dan, I'd love to make fun of your vague and lazily-worded half-hearted compliments, but it's just too easy.

In order for a date to go well for me, it's important that a girl laughs at my jokes, and she did just that, all night long!

While we all marvel at Dan's complete failure of modesty, I should make an open announcement that if you're female and you laugh at this blog, I will submit myself to you. And make you breakfast in the morning, too.

Ludo was an excellent date spot

blah blah blah Ludo's great, the chef came out, gave us his home phone number, and told us to call him if we ever needed anything at any time. Okay, I just added that last part in. But you get the point.

As the date wound down we discussed grabbing some drinks elsewhere, but unfortunately I had to get up early, so we exchanged numbers and called it a night.

Meh. That sounds lame. So does this:

As for us seeing each other again, I'm not entirely sure because as much fun as the date was, I'm a fairly tall person and I generally prefer girls who are taller. Who knows, though? Crazier things have happened.

Well, Dena would indeed be crazy if she continued to pursue this dork. Don't get me wrong, Dena had a fun time and used this opportunity to experience a night out on a date after the end of a long-term relationship - those are good things. However, this guy is totally not a good fit for Dena, and it's all because of him. Even though she thought many positive things about him from their night together, she should squash any idea of pursuing him further. I'm hoping that I don't have to tell her that, and that his writeup speaks for itself.

After some thought and hesitation, I call this date a success. Although a long-term match won't likely (and absolutely SHOULD NOT) result from the experience, I see that two young not-evil people had a nice time. Tom and Mackenzie sort of did their job right on this one. The story is that a girl coming out of a long-term relationship had a good start getting back into the dating scene. That's a New York happy ending if I've ever seen one.

Now, will we be happy with next week's date? Let's see:

MEET Megan, a beautiful commercial advertising sales assistant...

I would like to recuse myself from writing further about Megan, but I cannot because I'm the only writer in the house tonight and this post would go unfinished. So, a bit of disclosure is necessary: I fit very well with Megan's desires. It's almost spooky when she starts mentioning the "BBD" stuff, because I've been very clear about avoiding that sort of problem in the past (as she also wishes to do). I think she's cute, sensible, and right up my alley. I've been doe-eyed over some prior contestants, but with Megan I simply think that we're a very logical fit. Expect me to be overly critical of her male choices in a few minutes.

Continuing:

who describes herself as outgoing, ambitious, thoughtful and adventurous.

Jeez, I wrote that about myself. I never realized it sounded so contrived and self-congratulatory. Then again, for Megan you can add "straightforward" and "concise" to the list, and maybe I can overlook the potential (not certainty) of Megan's ego being out-of-control. Maybe she's just self-assertive in a good way? It's my job to point out that either is possible, and both are equally likely without further conclusive evidence. Also, to repeat a sentiment from earlier, I'd be a perfect fit for her. In poker terms, I'll see her "self-congratulatory" and raise her a "megalomaniac".

I very strongly observed this: she expects to be impressed. She has high sights for an ideal date, so whoever gets picked will have to put in some effort to make this thing work out. Now, let's get to that part of things:

Jason's a 23-year-old sales executive. "Coffee's for closers", eh Jason? You'll need to be a closer to win Megan's heart. Let's see if he has what it takes:

I'd say I am very ambitious and confident. Despite the fact that I am only 23, I have laid out specific goals that I've set for myself in both my professional and personal life.

Okay, he's a good fit!

What do you like to do when you're not working? I'm usually in the gym, riding motorcycles, going to the movies, traveling, and going for walks around Manhattan.

"Uhhh, which way is the gym? I'll check it out..." Heh heh. Other than that part and the fact that he's 23 (quite young), I see nothing wrong with his potential to make this work. We'll keep him in mind as a solid pick.

Next, Chris the cop. Megan, do you like the Yankees?

I'd love someone that is also into sports and would want to watch them with me.

Pop fly, infield, caught by Jeter for the out.

Finally, we have Matt, who seemingly needs a posture lesson based on his picture. He's standing in some sort of a combination of a slouch and a fey hand gesture. Matt's a little older than Megan (it appears). That's not a bad thing. But this is:

My personality is the selling point, I think.

Matt's self description matches his posture. I think he's nice, and Megan might like him, but this would be strictly a "friends-only" type setup. While we're here, let's take a story break:

What was your worst date ever? I went out with a girl who picked the most expensive restaurant in my town, then proceeded to order expensive food - of which she ate about three bites. The bill came, and she made not even the slightest offer to pay. All she did the entire evening was complain about how past ex-boyfriends had treated her poorly. After dinner, she suggested a coffee shop that had ice cream and board games. I wasn't a fan of this girl, so I was not inclined to be gracious and let her win. I beat her in nine consecutive times, and in a fit of rage, she threw the game pieces at me.

Fun! Was her name Jenny by any chance?

Matt's unfortunate story makes him an appealing underdog. Plus, he's an investment banker, so he can afford the sort of dating lifestyle that Megan can guide him toward, if she's up to the task. However, in the end, Jason's the closer. As of Sunday night, a leading plurality of 45.9% from the online readers agree. Megan, we wish you well no matter who you choose, whether it's Jason, Chris, or Matt.

*cough cough* or me *cough*

New York Post Dating: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Minutes

Fun, fun, fun!!! People, we have an exciting edition for you this week! Get ready by curling up into a fetal position and chewing your fingernails vigorously, because we're about to experience a dating disaster like no other!

Red Ryan went with Jenny, even though Elyse picked up a staggering 80% of the vote. Wow, that's some sort of record... anyway, the Post sent them off to a paid meal on Mulberry Street (where they were surrounded by Idahoans being served by Latin Americans working for Jewish owners of restaurants in a place called "Little Italy" - and no, I don't think it makes sense either) where they gathered and had a nice dinner. No sparks flew, but nothing notable happened.

At least that's what Jenny would have you think.

She said:
Of course, I got to the restaurant about half an hour late.

This is about as much as she'll admit in regards to her own foibles, and she even quickly justifies it by saying that she called in advance to let Ryan know. This is forgiveable; remember, we've seen worse from mobbed-up dipshits.

After a few snipes about his fashion sense, we get this:

Ryan had a good conversational manner. He asked a lot of questions - maybe too many!

Well, he's interested in you, so maybe you should appreciate it, eh? I guess she's not feeling the romance. This is probably something she would have appreciated if she liked him. She ends with this:

We certainly talked a lot, but I'm not sure if there were any sparks in my department. I don't really know if we hit it off or not. We may or may not see each other again, I don't know. We did exchange numbers, though.

"Not sure," "I don't really know," "May or may not," and "I don't know." I guess she's not sure of this one.

Oh, but Ryan is quite sure of HIS position!

He said:I got to Grotta Azzura 15 minutes early, and Jenny was 30 minutes late. By the time she got there, I almost felt like I had been on one date already, because I was chatting so much to the bar staff and waitresses!

Granted, I'd normally be calling the hospital right about now to get a WAAAAAAAAmbulance for this guy, but he's justified. Read on:

When she arrived, we had a drink at the bar, and then went and sat down. So far so good. We had delicious food and wine, and I was thinking that she is really nice and that this is all going well for a blind date set up by a newspaper.

Hah! I guess I'm not the only one that thinks a match-up by Tom and Mackenzie doesn't come with high expectations. Anyway:

Then we finished dinner and decided to get a drink somewhere nearby. This is where things started to get interesting.

Interesting! More like miserable! The grimy details:

"...she looked down the street and saw a bar where she said her friend was having a birthday party the next day, so we decided to go and check it out. I ordered some drinks, and then all of a sudden she meets some guy that she knew at the bar. Well, they were just having a great time. She was telling me what a great artist this guy is, and I am like, "Oh, wow, that's great." Then she said that she had to talk to this guy alone. She went off to speak to him in private, while I was left sitting at the bar with this damn 10-buck rose sitting in front of me. This goes on and on for quite some time. "

Ah, sounds like you just got FUCKED, dude. Let's see how this plays out:

Then she comes back and says she is now going to take off with this guy! So I was like, "Oh, right, OK then." And she's meanwhile still telling me what a brilliant artist this guy is. So they walked off, but then she came back and asked if I wanted to go with them. I was thinking, "Not really," but I go out anyway.

Then we get outside, and she said, "Oh, it's a bit late, I am going to go home actually." I asked if she needed me to get her a cab or anything, and she says, "No, no. I am fine." I got the message that she wanted me to go. I said goodnight and I walked off.

But when I got round the corner, I waited a moment, and then turned back and looked back at the bar. Jenny was still sitting there, on the curb. At that point I just kept going - I didn't want to feel like a stalker.

This is just wrong and sad. Initially, it seems he doesn't even get his revenge, but winds up looking pathetic instead:

I ended up at my local bar, Asylum, and I told my friend Brian the bartender all about my date, and he ended up buying me shots all night long. He was very sympathetic about the whole thing.

I told you this guy was a lush! And three cheers for people named Brian! He sounds like a good guy and an excellent bartender. Anyway, here's how Ryan ends the writeup:

So, overall, it was not a good date! And the weird thing is, I chose Jenny because, from her answers, I thought she seemed the most compatible. Well, compatibility sucks. I think I should just go back to choosing on the basis of looks.

And this is where we try not to stare at the carwreck, but we sort of cannot help it.

But, he does get the last word... and it's a good one:

Rating: ZERO HEARTS

Hahahah! I love it! Lesson learned: never act like a bitch on a date with the Post, because Tom and Mackenzie won't hesitate to let your companion rip you to shreds in front of 700,000 Sunday readers. Go Ryan!

As for Jenny, we'll add one further insult: she is now Queen Worst Dater Ever, the II!! That's right, Brooke's off the hook. I think we've reached a low point of clearly bad behavior by a female dater here, even lower than plain old hipster arrogance. As an additional stroke of karma, I'd like to think her artist friend perhaps won't reveal in a timely manner the fact that he's got a nasty case of the crabs. Oops! Feeling a little itchy and scratchy, Jenny?

Okay folks, the worst is over. Next week's daters don't look nearly as bad as last week's date ended up: Our date picker is Dena, who looks pretty clean, happy, and cute. Choice quote:

"I love to dance, but I don't get to do it enough."

Has a potential dater been reading my blog lately? It seems she's heard all of my criticisms about others mentioning activities in their dating profiles that they probably don't pursue nearly as much as they'd want you to believe. Her profile is, overall, well made. She seems like a catch. Let's try to find a good guy for her...

Man #1 is Jonathan the accountant. Highlights: Handsome, confident, and values humor. Also, he'll do your taxes for free. Downsides: Perhaps he's a bit too self-appreciative, he seems more like a nightlife guy than a romantic guy, and he might be more of a boy than a man. Also, he has high standards; Dena's up to the challenge, but her quirkier sensiblities are going to be a turnoff.

Man #2 is Dan the grad student. Highlights: Handsome, confident, and values humor. He will also perform a heart-rending rendition of the theme from "The Facts Of Life". (Mmmmmm, Blair) Downsides: Really loves himself way too much, seems to like nightlife more than dating, and might be more of an ass-tapper than a true Romeo. Do we see a pattern here?

Man #3 is Avi. I've never seen anyone in the telecom industry jacked up out of their minds as much as Avi is. Dena need not worry about ever being trapped under a car or a boulder with Avi around, as he seems he'd pick them up with one hand and roll them away without effort.

What animal do you most resemble, and why? Ha! I'd have to say a monkey. My cousin and I joke that we're the first generation not to drag our knuckles on the ground.

You know, as much as I'd relish the chance to verbally rip apart a random musclehead who might have the power to physically crush me to death - because I am cowardly and jealous, explaining why I have enough time being single to write this pathetic blog - this guy actually endears to me. I gotta say that I like him and his profile. As a big bonus, he doesn't love himself like the other guys do. (Take that in a general sense as well as a comparison to #1 and #2 - many guys in NYC love themselves way too much.) I'll even let go the fact that he misspelled "dinner" - after all, we know it might not be his mistake: Tom, Mackenzie, and all the other Post-bots are fully capable of botching up a profile posting. My only concern about a match with Dena: is she athletic at all? If not, they won't click.

Then again, I'm not sending Dena out with either Jonathan or Dan if someone as cool as Avi is around. So it'll be #3. My fellow readers agree, as Avi is solidly winning the online poll. Happy, happy times await.

Oh, and just in case I didn't make it clear earlier, Jenny sucks. Just had to get one more dig in. Enjoy a long reign, Queen Worst the II. *grin*

New York Post Dating: The Extra-Late, Curled-Up-In-The-Bathroom Edition

I had something good to write for this week, yet I was felled by a nasty case of food poisoning on Monday and could not find enough resiliance left in my stomach to re-read this week's column (heh) to complete a draft. Not until now, anyway:

Kat from last week went with Sean, the bulky-jawed comedian who reminded me of Jay Leno. Although Sean was perhaps hoping to find some actual romance in the deal, it was not in the cards:

Pretty early in the conversation Kat emphasized that a) she felt kind of weird about going on a blind date, and b) that she was mainly in this whole affair for the free meal.

Ugh. I addressed this problem not too long ago, saying that the "free meal sweepstakes" gets some people thinking that they won a food prize rather than a match setup, and that they're under no obligation whatsoever to even try to like the other person (unless it's some shallowly conceived love-at-first-lusty-glance sort of thing). What these selfish daters fail to realize is that it's only polite to at least put in a 1/2 hour's effort to try to find a connection, or something remotely likeable about the other person.

Wait, how old is Kat again? 23, of course. Ah, those crazy young females. The only times some of the young, snotty types act like they're not bored with men in New York is if they're being treated to a free meal or getting chased by a mugger. To Kat's credit, her politeness extended this far:

As we parted, she said, "Thanks for not being creepy."

Yeah, sure, that setup worked.

Next up, we have Ryan, a 26-year-old digital imaging specialist. He's been around before as a choice of three men - now being recycled as a chooser of women. His profile is alright, as he seems kind of mild and likeable. Only problem is, his face is RED. Can't you guys at the Post do a little digital-imaging-specialist work yourselves and not make it look like he went crazy with cocktails before he took this picture? He looks like he's totally sauced. Eh, nothing ever goes right around here.

And now we have his choices. Let's try to be kind to these women, because life hasn't been kind with me lately (I figured God had it in for me after I've slandered dozens of people in this blog for the past 8-9 months):

Elyse is cute. She likes to be lazy and relax, but she also likes the gym? (Either it's a poor arrangement of words, or she just feels like she wants to go to the gym more often.) Then she labels herself as vivacious and energetic, as "the entertainer". Quite contradictory. Moving forward, she's probably a vegan (most likely explanation for not usually eating butter, as she was forced to do on her worst date) and she'd like to go out more often - which could mean (not necessarily, though) she's hoping someone will come along to pay for entertainment and relieve her of her tight-budgeted Friday nights at home. At first pass, this profile looks harmless, but on closer inspection there are a couple of warning signs. I think the profile needs better shaping, but just in case, I'm being cautious with this one.

Jenny is generally an adventurous person, despite her occasional preference to watch some TV. (Hey, that's perfectly normal and O.K.!) Sometimes, she likes to get crazy and "let lose", which should be spelled with the word "loose" but we'll let it slip. (The spell check key in Microsoft Word, if anyone wants to know, is F7.) I was thrown off by this a little bit:

What's sexy? The simplest things. I like a guy who can go with the flow and doesn't freak out at the littlest things. I like guys with glasses sometimes. A guy who knows how to dance well is important - and I love blonds. And guys that are smart, but not too smart.

She starts off the answer with "the simplest things", but then starts naming specific preferences! Oi! Can't make up our minds, can we? Still, she seems pretty nice, so we'll give her a fair shot in the end - too bad Ryan isn't a blond, though. *sigh*

Finally, we have Leslie. She's a teacher; if you couldn't tell, I always have a soft spot in my heart for teachers (I find the profession lends attractive qualities to the women who pursue it). And she's very cute, too - kind of like a dark-blonde Zooey Deschanel. So adorable! I want to cut and paste most of her profile here because it works so well - she's very down-to-earth and sweet - but I'd leave out one part:

What do you look for in a man? Someone who's funny and playful, liberal and has a good reading voice.

NOOOOOO! Leave the damn politics OUT OF THE PROFILES! That's a mood killer right there for anyone who's not a raving liberal lunatic. And no, I don't care that New York is full of raving liberal lunatics, and that most of them are unapologetic. It's a mistake nonetheless!**

Well, despite some glaring profile mistakes and perhaps a red flag or two, it's not a bad field to choose from this week. I have to go with Leslie, because she doesn't show any personality-related red flags (just a dating profile mishap) and she never specifically rules out guys who have Ryan's dark brown hair color. Easy choice, nothing to drag on about. Still, the voting is going very heavily in favor of Elyse, which is inexplicable considering that the other two are somewhat solid choices and that there's nothing fantastic in Elyse's profile that makes her stand out among other reasonably good choices. I simply don't get it. Maybe we'll figure it out next week.

**The requisite clarification: I'm not being critical of liberals here, even as I'm sort of wisecracking about the strength of the liberal vote in NYC. There's really nothing wrong with any political preference, but there is something wrong with intolerance. When you start putting political signals in your dating profile, it's a clear indicator that you are unwilling to associate with those who don't agree with you politically. That's rather assinine and should be avoided. That said, no specific party affiliation is correct or incorrect; all preferences should be tolerated, and none picked out. Furthermore, feel free to have a good-natured discussion about politics once you're actually on the date.