Week of 01/15/2006: Two Things Are Certain In Life - Death and Neuroses

Modern Love has another Readers' Digest week. No one in the story is below 50 years old. (*snooze*) It's not that Caroline Miller's tale isn't a good one; it's just that there's more contemporary narrative in US Weekly than there is in these sort of essays. (50-year-husband had a life on the side. I've never heard of this happening before, ever. Really.)

The Post's Intimidate is a little better, though. Wilson's a tall, dorky, father psychology professor, so who better to pick for him but a self-admitted mental health case - like, say, Virginia?

We made nervous conversation at first, but when he told me he was a psychology professor, with a therapy practice on the side, I was fascinated. I've logged a few years on the couch myself, so I always want to hear what it's like from the chair. I asked questions and got him to tell me about transference and countertransference!

Transference and countertransference? Too lazy to Google today. Just wear a condom, kids. Keep it safe.

Yes, Virginia and Wilson hit it off nicely. Despite my poking fun, they both behaved respectably and got along memorably. Another win for Meet Market! Maybe Tom's dream of a Meet Market marriage may come true someday after all...

This week's daters? Michael's a "self-proclaimed agent provocateur." Bad news! I can assure you that an antagonist never gets past the first date. Will he behave? Also, he's looking for a smart girl... that request is really not hard to fill, but based on his hipster-ish preferences, I'm going to say that he wants someone who looks the part, rather than someone who's brilliant and fearsome. He needs a nice girl with thick-rimmed glasses.

Kara's the only one who fits the bill - out of all three girls, Kara really looks like the stereotypical hipster. Except, she's nice! Which is not to say anything bad about Beth (red mesh thong? I'm hot for teacher...) or Lauren ("sex kitten" + "the perfect first date" = extra horny), because they're both very nice as well. However, I can see things going nowhere with Michael and those other girls because they seem sexually and romantically aggressive, and that WILL scare him off. Kara, on the other hand, will be the innocent and low-stress girlfriend that Michael's looking for.

(Beth's thong is going a long way with the polls, though - she's crushing the other two with a ridiculous 50+ point lead. Perverts! But yeah, Beth is super-sexy. I'd like to be in her homeroom class, if you know what I mean.)