Week of 1/23/2006: Old People Are Scary
Modern Love goes creepy this week: Abby Sher relates a tale of how she nearly seduced a gentlemanly older professor, and herself too - until she snapped out of it and realized that she just wanted to be around her dad. And Old Wrinkly Professor Guy is not dad. An admirable performace by Andrew while dealing with a mentally-crippling case of blue balls. And another lesson to not trust any girls under 25.
Verdict: It's good. Nice, sharp material.
Meet Market doesn't fare as well this week. To start, Michael ignored my advice and went for saucy Beth. Result: two people trying to find flattering things to say about each other while silently bemoaning the lack of chemistry on the date. It's like giving a eulogy for a mean aunt: "Well, ummm, she smelled nice. And she, uhhh, liked cats..."
Eulogy is correct here; there won't be another date. Will there be romance this week, though? Hard to say... I'm not getting any feelings of longing while seeing this week's daters! We've got a bunch of older double-baggers trying to find romance without vomiting. I say it's not possible.
Sonia picks. She's luscious. I beg to differ: chocolate cake might be luscious, but just because you eat a lot of it doesn't make YOU luscious.
Explains the shoulders-up headshot, eh? Luckily none of the guys on this week's slate are athletic, either. Rob's about the only decent one overall. Not naming names, but I think being a pervert and having a second chin the size of Michael Moore would both be disqualifying factors for picture-dating, no matter how nice the people are.
Let's make this clear: save for one guy who looks a little sharky, they all seem rather nice. But that and $2 will get you a subway ride in this town.
My hasty pick is Rob. After having a minute to look over the choices, I decided quickly and then burned the newspaper to prevent these faces from haunting me. Think happy, happy thoughts... happy thoughts... pictures of Naomi Watts to cleanse the palette... ahhh, that's better.
Verdict: It's good. Nice, sharp material.
Meet Market doesn't fare as well this week. To start, Michael ignored my advice and went for saucy Beth. Result: two people trying to find flattering things to say about each other while silently bemoaning the lack of chemistry on the date. It's like giving a eulogy for a mean aunt: "Well, ummm, she smelled nice. And she, uhhh, liked cats..."
Eulogy is correct here; there won't be another date. Will there be romance this week, though? Hard to say... I'm not getting any feelings of longing while seeing this week's daters! We've got a bunch of older double-baggers trying to find romance without vomiting. I say it's not possible.
Sonia picks. She's luscious. I beg to differ: chocolate cake might be luscious, but just because you eat a lot of it doesn't make YOU luscious.
When she's not working, she loves to "cook, sleep, read, listen to music, work out, take long walks and explore."
Explains the shoulders-up headshot, eh? Luckily none of the guys on this week's slate are athletic, either. Rob's about the only decent one overall. Not naming names, but I think being a pervert and having a second chin the size of Michael Moore would both be disqualifying factors for picture-dating, no matter how nice the people are.
Let's make this clear: save for one guy who looks a little sharky, they all seem rather nice. But that and $2 will get you a subway ride in this town.
My hasty pick is Rob. After having a minute to look over the choices, I decided quickly and then burned the newspaper to prevent these faces from haunting me. Think happy, happy thoughts... happy thoughts... pictures of Naomi Watts to cleanse the palette... ahhh, that's better.
posted by Brian Van at
8:43 AM
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