New York Times Modern Love: Keeping Love In The Family (In A Manner Of Speaking)

This week's Modern Love contribution by Linda Baker makes me re-evaluate why I read this column at all. Shall I ask, "Where do I begin?" How about, "Let's end this quickly" instead.

Linda - keep in mind, this is a TRUE story - is close to her children. Actually, a little too close. WAY too close. Second paragraph:

...the thing is, I'm canoodling too, with my gangly, 65-pound, 10-year-old son.

Canoodling? Don't we see that word in another New York-based column way too often? Except when they use it, it means "kissing passionately". Ewwwwww!

Linda doesn't mean it that way, but she is admitting that she's excessively touchy-feely with her too-old-for-this-shit kids. And the excessive PDA is unsettling to her, even though she encourages it.

But wait a second... what about the readers? Once again, the universe is centered on the author of a Modern Love column such that the need to share his/her own needs and emotions trumps the good of the public. Which applies here thus: if she thinks SHE'S uncomfortable with the PDA, she obviously thinks not of the millions of sickened Times subscribers who had to bear this essay. They are all far more disgusted and unsettled than Ms. Baker, I assure you.

The essay proceeds under a plot umbrella of Ms. Baker's desire to stop this behavior for the good of the children. Again, self-importance; simply put, Ms. Baker is trying to be a good parent and instill proper behavior in her children. This may be an extreme case of deviant childhood behavior, surely. But on a higher level, is this not what ALL parents go through with their kids? Encourage decent behavior, discourage deviant behavior. Sounds like the usual thing to me!

And what does this have to do with modern love? Let's break down the combined meme of the column and how it relates to this essay:
Modern trends: obviously, this situation is not a common contemporary problem in modern society. Most parents have separation issues, but not to this extent. The author is dysfunctional.
Love and romance: Child rearing and behavioral modification have nothing to do with love! Or, from another angle: Ms. Baker isn't reflecting on a romantic relationship or the love/care aspect of the relationship with her children. The desired result is to have a loving family with children who function normally in society. She's not trying to have her children love her less; she's just trying to convince them to stop rubbing themselves against her constantly!

So, this essay is irrelevant to the theme of the column, plus it mentions disgusting facts - and, to top it all off, doesn't end with any kind of a satisfying conclusion! We just had to listen to Linda Baker bitch about being a deranged parent with deranged kids. Fucking fantastic.

Thank you, Sunday Styles! I wish I had a bird, whose cage I would line with today's section. And not just for this, but especially for that picture of Karen and Sarah. Those girls are normally cute! How could you violate their images so drastically? They look like the walking undead in Barbara Fernandez's photo. Gross. Please get new photographers in Miami, thx.