Week of 11/20 - This Blog Is Going to Shit

I suppose it's a sign of success in life when you don't have idle time in the week until Friday to make a meaningless blog post, eh? Let's hit this week's articles quickly:

Modern Love is about righting a wrong kid. Or, more accurately, it's about a parent who made a tough decision regarding a child, and anguished about it. Obviously that alone is a compelling story about love, and not anything resembling whining, right? This was the anti-Dan-Savage article - where Savage had conviction, Richard Reiss has fear and doubt. Yet again the Times offers Readers' Digest-style fare as a report of contemporary trends in human bonding. At the very least, the trend is wrong: most parents threaten kids with things like military school, but never follow through. Pffffbt.

Meet Market - you know the drill - gets off to an ugly start when Jodie and Mike fall flat like a pancake. Is it anyone's fault? Not really. Did anyone do anything wrong? Well, Jodie wore Uggs. Disappointing. Otherwise, it just didn't work. And we learned nothing from it. Megu, however, got a slice of publicity that they didn't need at all. (Do a Lexis-Nexis search on "Megu" in your local library to see what I mean. Celebrities, publicists, and gossip hounds are in a constant swarm.)

This week's dater is Alan, the aerodynamically-shaped plastic surgeon. A low-rent Billy Zane look-alike? He's got a nice tie, though. Anyway, he has sophisticated tastes and would require a girl with class; perhaps one that enjoys the finer things in life without needing to be fully entertained by their companion. In other words, no ADD chicks! And we could give a few pounds here, because the liposuction's on the house. Who should we set him up with?

Alison - the smile! A million watts, fellas! Very young and energetic. Also a bit youthful, and perhaps undistinguished if she hangs out at the ESPN Zone. A great girl to hang out with, but not Alan's type.

Leora - the scarf! How stylish! And she's cute, too! Easygoing, fun-loving, and down-to-earth. Again, not Alan's type.

Rose - the head tilt! And that's the best hair we've seen in Meet Market in a long time! Plus, another stylish scarf!

When you go to a bar, what's the first drink you'll order? Champagne, a glass of New Zealand sauvignon blanc or a vodka tonic. Or all three.

Followed by breezy (but merely inventive) mentions of Learjets, European travel, caviar, and more booze. I think she's got potential worldly tastes if she's set up with the right man. Say, oh, a filthy-rich plastic surgeon who needs a vacation-companion wife.

(I call this situation the "pied-a-terre pussy", considering that busy professional men tend to only visit their wives substantially when they're taking a month off of work, and not on a day-to-day basis. Not unlike a condo in Miami. Women also do this, but then you would just call the husband "whipped".)

Rose is obviously the best pick for Alan, but my biggest concern is that, like the others, she is also down-to-earth and youthful. How is that going to play out with Alan? If he's not sociable and she's convivial, probably not very well. However, give these two the benefit of the doubt - if he's even slightly witty and she's even a little bit demure, they might really hit it off.

In any case, we shall see how it played out in a few days...