New York Post Meet Market: Kirsten Sees The Worst That Can Happen, Gets Invited To A Maids Of Dishonor Show

I love going on blind dates. It's a great way to meet people in New York, so I was not at all nervous. Really, the worst thing that can happen is that conversation drags, and since The Post was picking up our tab, how bad could it be?

Well, well, welllllll Kirsten, let me tell you something...

Sean picked Kirsten, who I thought was a really cool girl but didn't think was a good match for Sean and his hair. And whaddyaknow, it didn't work out between them. The story from Kirsten:

To be honest, we were not physically attracted to each other, so I felt we both just had made up our mind to have a really fun, friendly night.

Well, if that ain't the kiss of death, I don't know what is.

We didn't leave until about 11:30 because we were having such a fun time. In the end, though, we parted as friends.

From my experience, some girls are exceedingly nice even when a date just doesn't work out. It's kind of confusing, actually; they just won't fess up to what's rubbing them the wrong way. But luckily, Sean fills in the details for us:

We chatted mostly about work at first - she is a p.r. person, and I was interested to get an insight into her world. There is a glamorous side to it - going to parties for exciting things, so it was fascinating to hear about it.

P.R. is so glamorous. Glamorous, people! P.R. is so hot. Mmmm, continue.

We quickly discovered that we are both Taurus, which made it even easier. But I have to say that I doubt Kirsten could keep up with me on a full-on night out - but I could be wrong. I led the conversation at first, but that was cool. Tauruses take a while to warm up; once we got going we had a great conversation.

Wow, this is a guy who knows his horoscope really well. That's usually a girly thing. Maybe he gets his astrological advice from the Times? During a manicure, perhaps?

Girls are always quite interested to speak to a makeup artist

So modest. And glamorous.

I told her about my band - I recorded a disc recently called "The Gutters of Heaven" with my band, which is called Sean Allen Fenn and the Maids of Dishonor - you can get it on iTunes. She seemed to be interested in that side of my life - but now I think she may have been humoring me. I invited her to see me a few nights later, but she didn't show. I am going to invite her to my next gig and hope I have more luck then!

OMG. He's plugging his band in the column, and on the date! It's as if she's not a potential hookup, but rather a potential audience member! Because that counts more!

Well, maybe she was humoring you, Sean. That's my theory.

Anyway, who's turn is it this week?

Kat's back! Now we know that she's "the beautiful assistant to the director of the Guggenheim Museum." Even more specific info! Give out her home address, why don't you?

Kat's got a better profile this week. I like her a little more, to be honest. I have good hope for this week's date. Now, for some quotables about bad dates past:

"When I asked him where he wanted to eat, he said, 'Someplace cheap,' and later said that he only paid for the movie because he found a $20 while we were waiting in line."

I've got a better one for you. Some idiot I know went out with some new friends and, following a cheap trick he'd learned from other friends, used his credit card at a kiosk to prepay for all the tickets - at the children's rate! The ushers never check that, so theoretically you can save a bundle that way. But the new friends were horrified, and almost walked out of the theater. Luckily, after a big hassle, they all used the tickets as-is with no problems getting admission - but not without my idiot friend feeling utterly embarrassed. (my friend... wasn't me, it was a friend... yeah, um, that's right...)

Back to Kat, she's to choose from:

Julian the peace officer. Peace officer? What does he do, work security for Ben & Jerry's? I think they meant police officer. Regardless, Julian's a big softie. Nothing particularly special about him. He does not seem very cosmopolitan, hence I don't think he's a good match for Kat (who seems somewhat sophisticated). Next, please.

Second, we have Steven, the research analyst. Quotables:

If your life were a soundtrack, what song or specific lyrics would be playing? "Firestarter" by Prodigy. It's a high-energy song, and I like to liven things up and start a little something. Living an exciting life is the only way to do it.

I personally love the Prodigy (not to be confused with the Mobb Deep rapper), and I agree with this philosophy. This is probably why I'm dateless, though, and I predict that Steven will be as well. Girls don't go for intense, Euro-techno types of guys. Also:

I once had a first date where we had both watched a lot of recent movies before we met, so we decided that we would pick the film when we went to the theater. Needless to say, "Event Horizon" was not a good first-date flick. The relationship did not go very far.

First, indeed. Second, did you know that the song that plays over the end credits is another Prodigy song, "Funky Shit"? They even sampled the Beastie Boys for that one. I love that. More useless pop trivia for you. Next, please.

Finally, we have Mike, the stand-up comedian. And like most stand-up comedians, he looks like he has Down Syndrome. (Note: I'm personally going to get in a ton of trouble for that remark. You know, aside from going to Hell. For that, I think some of my comedian friends are going to send me there sooner rather than later.) Maybe that's just a bad picture? Looks better from the side, possibly? He is a very nice and sweet guy, though, as the following would show:

How would you describe yourself? I'm a sweet guy with a good sense of humor. I am a very caring person (worked as a social worker for years . . . great job, but very draining).

I now feel bad for making fun of him. I mean, those eyes are just a little too wide apart, but that doesn't mean I should judge or anything. (Okay, I'll stop.) I have nothing but good marks for Mike. He's even funny, as he makes a witty comment about trading "a caring disposition" for peanut butter and milk. Also:

I dance pretty well for a white guy with a limp!

Ummm... right. So he's not a male model by any means, but he won't do you wrong.

Nice guys finish last, usually. In this case, all these guys finish last, because none of them seem to be the type of guy that would keep a girl like Kat well-occupied. It's nobody's fault, really; I just don't think any of these guys are the type to be going out for Grey Goose Martinis. Specifically, Kat's not looking for a blue-collar beau, so Julian's out. Kat's also seemingly not looking for someone jokey and modest, so Mike's also out. That leaves us with Fast Beats Steven, who doesn't seem like a particularly great match for Kat... but then again, you never know.

I wish them all luck. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run quickly from the rocks that are being thrown at me from the comedian crowd...