New York Post Dating: Aside From The Insensitive Comments About Religion, We're Not Doing Too Badly
Here's your weekly link to my favorite subject matter...
Despite my objections, Zoe thought Jay was her best shot at romance. At first glance I wanted to scream, but it seems that Jay is not so bad - perhaps much different than his profile initially suggested. I went back to last weeks' profiles to take a look, and I confirmed this. First of all, his name was Jonathan last week. Good job, Tom & Mackenzie! Second, that was a really bad profile picture - not just giving the appearance that he wasn't quite handsome, but that perhaps he wasn't clean either. I mean, with that hair, and the odd skin tones - who knew when he last bathed? Third, his short answers didn't really work too well, allowing me to make the mistake of making a lot of bad assumptions about his lifestyle - that he might be cheap, poor, or uninteresting.
I went for the worst case scenario when looking at his profile last week. That was a terrible mistake on my part, and I'm sorry that I was such an asshole about it. Readers, you should learn from it - this is the way many people think when they're quickly browsing a profile. It's not unusual for people to make (sometimes unfair) snap judgments on others based on appearance and limited information. It's often unintentional, almost subliminal. There are strategies in composing a dating profile that can ensure you'll make a clear, positive impression based on your interests and values. Jonathan... er, Jay, or whatever his name is... could have missed out on the chance had he been lined up against candidates with better profiles. (He squeaked by because the other guys weren't particularly good choices.) Assuming this dating setup doesn't lead to marriage (we'll get to that in a second), he would benefit from a profile makeover to better highlight his flattering qualities.
Too bad I wouldn't know what they are, because Zoe had too much to drink on the date and can't remember many details about what's-his-name. Never a good move, but he didn't seem to notice. It turned out they were somewhat compatible, even though he's a Gentile (these things matter, people!) and she's really insistent about celebrating her birthday. Oh, that, and Zoe thinks that dating someone who lives 6 miles away might be a bit of a commuting stretch. Is this a red herring for her lack of romantic interest, or is this just hipster subway snobbery? Ah, those wacky 23-year-olds! What a trip they are!
While we're talking about Zoe, I should mention that it was unbecoming of her to go down this road:
In the end, I'm not too sure what kind of future this couple has, but I'm all for them to continue seeing each other and feel out the situation. I hope Zoe keeps the silly Jehovah's Witness observations to a minimum, though - and, unlike the Post, she should probably always refer to him by his correct name.
Next week's adventure - probably once again set in a restuarant with the tab covered by the Post, featuring undue attention by the restaurant staff (hey, how come the chef never stops by to say hello on any of my dates?) - will feature Vikas, who just a few weeks ago was on the losing end of a strong contest for Pamela's heart (and drink tab). Back then, I was a little curious about whether or not Vikas was heavily ethnicized - that is, if he had a thick foreign accent and/or had a good sense of American culture. To be honest, I still don't know, but I no longer care. For one thing, he has potentially worse issues - I think his pursuits are blandly stated (which means there could be nothing interesting about him at all), and his sense of humor is either corny or arrogant. (I'll give him a bit of a break, though - he works in finance and dresses well! Your dad will approve!) Second, where I thought that ethnicity might hurt his chances with Pamela, I thought that was an issue with Pamela and not Vikas. I don't really see that being a problem with this week's women. Score one for diversity if we can make this thing work out.
Let's talk about this week's women already, because they're so promising - and because I dislike talking about Vikas! (Too bad I gotta write half the column about him next week, too! Please kill me.)
Kristin is a 25 year old teacher, and she's sooo cute! Her profile gets off to a great start:
Then again, so would Molly. She's a pretty 29-year-old grad student, looks athletic (and fit), has a good head on her shoulders, and has excellent romantic priorities. Based on the athletic angle, I think Molly would make a better match for Vikas. I do hope that Vikas can handle knitting, though! As an aside, that's a really interesting and creative hobby - I think that's not only a great thing to do, but an excellent thing to mention in a dating profile. I'm also loving the fact that, this week, the ladies' hobbies are "cello" and "knitting", not "getting into Bungalow 8".
Last, we have Agnes. Another cutie! She's a photographer, likes concerts and the beach, and loves exploring the city. She's happy, perky, and smart. She also has good taste in music! (remember, Vikas loves the dated acts U2 and LL Cool J - that might be a miscompatibility, but you never know) I particularly loved this passage:
In the end, I think Molly is best with a very slight edge over Kristin and Agnes; in general, I think their particular preferences in humor, demeanor, activities, and romance make them the best possible connection. The poll is still really close among all three girls - because they're all fantastic choices. I do sincerely hope that Vikas is more interesting than his profile initially suggests, because all of these girls deserve to get a shot at an interesting date, not a bomb.
(Of course, being single myself, I'd like to get a shot at being in Vikas' position this week. Can I pick one too?)
Despite my objections, Zoe thought Jay was her best shot at romance. At first glance I wanted to scream, but it seems that Jay is not so bad - perhaps much different than his profile initially suggested. I went back to last weeks' profiles to take a look, and I confirmed this. First of all, his name was Jonathan last week. Good job, Tom & Mackenzie! Second, that was a really bad profile picture - not just giving the appearance that he wasn't quite handsome, but that perhaps he wasn't clean either. I mean, with that hair, and the odd skin tones - who knew when he last bathed? Third, his short answers didn't really work too well, allowing me to make the mistake of making a lot of bad assumptions about his lifestyle - that he might be cheap, poor, or uninteresting.
I went for the worst case scenario when looking at his profile last week. That was a terrible mistake on my part, and I'm sorry that I was such an asshole about it. Readers, you should learn from it - this is the way many people think when they're quickly browsing a profile. It's not unusual for people to make (sometimes unfair) snap judgments on others based on appearance and limited information. It's often unintentional, almost subliminal. There are strategies in composing a dating profile that can ensure you'll make a clear, positive impression based on your interests and values. Jonathan... er, Jay, or whatever his name is... could have missed out on the chance had he been lined up against candidates with better profiles. (He squeaked by because the other guys weren't particularly good choices.) Assuming this dating setup doesn't lead to marriage (we'll get to that in a second), he would benefit from a profile makeover to better highlight his flattering qualities.
Too bad I wouldn't know what they are, because Zoe had too much to drink on the date and can't remember many details about what's-his-name. Never a good move, but he didn't seem to notice. It turned out they were somewhat compatible, even though he's a Gentile (these things matter, people!) and she's really insistent about celebrating her birthday. Oh, that, and Zoe thinks that dating someone who lives 6 miles away might be a bit of a commuting stretch. Is this a red herring for her lack of romantic interest, or is this just hipster subway snobbery? Ah, those wacky 23-year-olds! What a trip they are!
While we're talking about Zoe, I should mention that it was unbecoming of her to go down this road:
I did find the whole Jehovah's Witness thing kind of fascinating, because usually you only meet them when they come to your door and you don't answer.I'm sure what's-his-name finds those kind of statements charming.
In the end, I'm not too sure what kind of future this couple has, but I'm all for them to continue seeing each other and feel out the situation. I hope Zoe keeps the silly Jehovah's Witness observations to a minimum, though - and, unlike the Post, she should probably always refer to him by his correct name.
Next week's adventure - probably once again set in a restuarant with the tab covered by the Post, featuring undue attention by the restaurant staff (hey, how come the chef never stops by to say hello on any of my dates?) - will feature Vikas, who just a few weeks ago was on the losing end of a strong contest for Pamela's heart (and drink tab). Back then, I was a little curious about whether or not Vikas was heavily ethnicized - that is, if he had a thick foreign accent and/or had a good sense of American culture. To be honest, I still don't know, but I no longer care. For one thing, he has potentially worse issues - I think his pursuits are blandly stated (which means there could be nothing interesting about him at all), and his sense of humor is either corny or arrogant. (I'll give him a bit of a break, though - he works in finance and dresses well! Your dad will approve!) Second, where I thought that ethnicity might hurt his chances with Pamela, I thought that was an issue with Pamela and not Vikas. I don't really see that being a problem with this week's women. Score one for diversity if we can make this thing work out.
Let's talk about this week's women already, because they're so promising - and because I dislike talking about Vikas! (Too bad I gotta write half the column about him next week, too! Please kill me.)
Kristin is a 25 year old teacher, and she's sooo cute! Her profile gets off to a great start:
I'm always up for trying anything new. I enjoy wandering the city, taking dance classes, playing the cello, going to museums, etc.The cello? I'm swooning so much over that list that I don't want to make the easy "she loves a big instrument" joke. She seems pretty cool based on her total profile - no red flags, much to love about her down-to-earth sensiblities and her approach to dating. Did I mention she's sooo cute? She'd make a great date.
Then again, so would Molly. She's a pretty 29-year-old grad student, looks athletic (and fit), has a good head on her shoulders, and has excellent romantic priorities. Based on the athletic angle, I think Molly would make a better match for Vikas. I do hope that Vikas can handle knitting, though! As an aside, that's a really interesting and creative hobby - I think that's not only a great thing to do, but an excellent thing to mention in a dating profile. I'm also loving the fact that, this week, the ladies' hobbies are "cello" and "knitting", not "getting into Bungalow 8".
Last, we have Agnes. Another cutie! She's a photographer, likes concerts and the beach, and loves exploring the city. She's happy, perky, and smart. She also has good taste in music! (remember, Vikas loves the dated acts U2 and LL Cool J - that might be a miscompatibility, but you never know) I particularly loved this passage:
What has your New York dating experience been like? Wonderful, dreadful, interesting, dangerous, enlightening. I don't regret anything. Everyone I have dated has taught me something about myself and people in general. How could I regret that?*sigh* Why are you still single? You could probably have a rock star if you wanted, girl. I heart you.
In the end, I think Molly is best with a very slight edge over Kristin and Agnes; in general, I think their particular preferences in humor, demeanor, activities, and romance make them the best possible connection. The poll is still really close among all three girls - because they're all fantastic choices. I do sincerely hope that Vikas is more interesting than his profile initially suggests, because all of these girls deserve to get a shot at an interesting date, not a bomb.
(Of course, being single myself, I'd like to get a shot at being in Vikas' position this week. Can I pick one too?)
posted by Brian Van at
5:04 PM
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