New York Post Dating: The Power Of Love!

I know I'm really late this week. Here's the link, which expires soon (so hurry!), but since many may not make it in time, I'll make an extra effort to make it up to you with details.

Celine Dion went with Ian for the date choice, and guess what - she's not Canadian, she's Belgian. Hey, this author is Belgian too! I like her already! You know, except for that goddamn Titanic song.

Anyway, Pamel... whoops, almost slipped up there, I meant Celine... met Ian down at the Silverleaf Tavern for some drinks and dinner, and they immediately started slobbering over one another. I mean, in their writeups, not on the date. Well, they almost did in real life, seemingly. Anyway, the feedback, with all the irrelevant parts cut:

Ian -

I sat down at the bar, trying to get into the proper "Blind Date" zone - i.e., minimal expectations mixed with high hopes... I made small talk with the female bartender to take my mind off the insanity inherent in blind dating... Pamela walked in fashionably late... I usually don't date Europeans as a rule, but Pamela seemed a great exception... I had Pamela sitting in my lap within the first 20 minutes of meeting her. Talk about a great icebreaker!... it felt like total synchronicity. We were even dressed in the same colors!... Pamela told me all about her television show and the fact that she could speak four languages... We closed the place down. I walked Pamela to her front door... and ended the evening with a kiss on the cheek. Pamela is an amazing woman, and I look forward to seeing her again. Thanks, New York Post.

Celine -

We had a fabulous time, because we complemented each other on everything. For instance, I was saying that I wanted to go to China, and he had been there; he wants to go to Japan, and I had been there... It was snowing outside, which was really romantic... within five minutes of being with Ian, I felt a connection... He showed a genuine interest in what I had to say, and he was able to develop a conversation so well. And he looks pretty good, too - that helps!... We talked about everything from past relationships ... I always think it is important to talk about relationships because that is how you get to find out how the other person approaches it... I don't really do the whole "dating" thing... I am always interested in a good conversation and New York is the best place for that. It's so cosmopolitan and you meet people who make things happen... it was just tremendous fun to chat to this great guy for four hours straight.

That was almost, but not quite, thoroughly unbearable. I have a pressing question: how did the both of them make so many mistakes and yet come out of the date adoring one another? They were talking about prior relationships, Celine did a lot more talking about herself than she picked up details from Ian, they basically babbled on mindlessly for four hours (a typical friendzone trap), Celine doesn't typically date, and Ian never met a woman he didn't like. Yet they still gave each other four hearts. And they're continuing to see each other, so their hearts will go on.

Let's move on.

Matt looks alright. The shirt is way too big, though. He's a law student from Long Island who likes jogging (much better than saying "I work out") and time spent with friends. He does use a cliche, but then immediately apologizes. Well, at least he knows. He's got high expectations in a female; he's looking for a brainy attractive gal with a sense of humor.

He's been checking out the New York dating scene lately, and isn't quite sure what to think of it "I think it's kind of sad and unfortunate, given how many talented people there are living in this city," he tells us. "Then again, the fact that I'm in The Post does not speak well for myself."

Best! soundbite! ever! Yes, the NYC dating scene is a tragedy! And being referenced in the Post is ignominious! How honest and succinct! We gotta get you laid, dude.

Pamela is 22 and has fire hair and green eyes. Oooh. In that case, maybe I'll overlook the possibility that her portrait is cut off at just the right spot to hide a huge flabby belly and thunder thighs; and she alludes to that fact in her profile, too! But don't listen to my opinion, please. If Matt likes that sort of thing - and he never said he didn't - then there's no problem, right? Her profile otherwise reveals a fun, likeable person who doesn't seem to have any screws loose. She's got pricey tastes, but Matt's gonna be a lawyer so that's no problem.

Can we top Pamela? Yes! Sarah is a very cute law student. Hey, Matt's a law student too! Can they copy each other's homework? That would be romantic! She's from Texas (giddy up), she insists on Coors Light, she's adventurous and ambitious without being arrogant, and she does karaoke. Down to earth, sweet, and very likeable. Matt, take Pamela and leave Sarah for me... I'll be a good wingman, I promise. *wink*

We've still got one more - Alisha the web manager. She's been doing it since the age of 15 (so she started in 1996, when it was a young, small industry - a workaholic, perhaps). For some reason, she stumbles on the "best date ever" question, making it look like she's never had a good date or doesn't like to talk about past experience. I think she's likeable otherwise, even if not that interesting, but...

... in this tough field, Sarah stands head and shoulders above the rest. In the voting, Sarah has a comfortable lead over Pamela, who has a respectable percentage of the voting herself. Alisha just didn't light anyone's fires. I like Sarah and Matt as a couple; let's see if they can keep the success streak going.

Enjoy the weekend, folks...