New York Post Dating: Motion Sustained

Our weekly pointer to the Dating section...

Matt, sharp as a dagger, chose Sarah. Voting ended up roughly where I found it on Thursday (with Pam giving a respectable second place, and Alicia picking up table scraps).

We sent them to Rosa Mexicano on 62nd Street at Lincoln Center, hoping they would come out of the date with a contract for love. Did our crafty plan work?

Crafty plan? Which part is the crafty part, your conspicuous ad for Rosa Mexicano, or the fact that you're pairing off two people with something remotely in common (for a change)? Seeing the words "our crafty plan" in the New York Post provided a hearty laugh. It's possible that crafty is referring to arts and crafts; I get the feeling that they're sniffing large quantities of glue.

Sarah's view on the evening is very much fair, although Matt got called out for using "hair products." Heh. She isn't bowled over by him, but she likes him and even is considerate of differences in opinion. She took sharp notice of the fact that he's a Republican, as she's an active Democrat. Matt seemed a little less enthusiastic about Sarah in his take on the evening; oddly enough, he gave her a higher rating than she gave to him for the date.

They both seemed to have fun, but they haven't found burning chemistry yet. That's quite fine, and I think they should continue dating regardless. They both enjoyed the evening, and I think they have potential.

I had a hard time trying to make sense of things this week. Unlike in previous weeks, when the daters' evaluations have usually made sense as a whole, it seems as if both daters were given a Q&A session and the answers were clumsily placed together without the questions. As a result, it was a bit confusing to read their opinions. One can easily surmise that they were both bored on this date and are looking for something more exciting. The generally high ratings are a surprise in context of the responses. In spite of this, I find that these two have much in common where it counts, and time may lead to a fruitful romance for these two.

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Feeling rosy and warm with love? Don't get used to it.

This week's date picker is Phyllis. She's 23 and she's wearing a blazer, a lace camisole, and pearls - and a lot of makeup. Who do you think this reminds me of? Arrgh!

"I'd describe myself as a firecracker - full of life and personality," she tells us. "I'm sharp as a whip, and I say what's on my mind...oh, and I'm pretty cute, too!"

She's quite young and definitely bold, but is there anything redeeming about her?

She also looks for a guy who is intelligent and well-dressed. Affectionate men who are close to their families - "as close as I am to mine" - will score major points as well.

That's not so bad. Still, this is all you need to know about Phyllis:

Phyllis admits that she enjoys the "thrill of the chase" in dating - that said, "I imagine when I find the right guy, I won't feel the need to play games."

So, fair advice to whoever gets selected for this date: fire and retreat. She's certainly attractive and enjoys dating (as well as the amorous stuff that comes with it, likely), but she'd make a horrible girlfriend. So, go for the amorous stuff ASAP, then get the hell out of there. Don't feel bad, either; after all, you'll have satisfied her "thrill of the chase".

Blech. Rarely have I given up at this point in the matching process, but I'm almost inclined not to even look at the guys. Still:

Rob, in full Nosferatu getup. (Dude, get out in the sun a bit more often) Honest to a fault. Party guy. He likes intense women; he likes sincere women; he likes it when a girl has a slight nerd quality. I just don't see a match, but he provides a great quote:

What's not sexy? Willful ignorance.

Amen, brother! I take this as a swipe at "Girls who don't answer their voicemails when they don't feel like dating a guy anymore." That's a well-deserved stab. And Phyllis probably does shit like that. Next!

Neil is listed as 26, looks 30+. He works in Corporate Development, which means he probably should avoid talking about work forever. Not that I dislike him, but the guy seems about as uninteresting as his job. Here's the deciding line:

I'm not into girls who wear tons of makeup.

And you're out. Next!

Dan's a beefy financial manager, not a pretty young boy. He seems much more interesting than the other two, though. When he describes himself, there's a sense of honesty and sincerity in his words, as if he's not faking it for a dating profile; you'd want to talk to him about his interests. Hell, I think I wanna be friends with this guy and buy him a few rounds. (Wait a sec - this is starting to sound like I'm turning gay. I better quit now.) I think he's definitely looking for the right things in life, and he's a great dating candidate for the right girl. Ah, the tragedy - if he gets picked, he's going to end up with Phyllis!

So much for the rosy feeling. Although these guys aren't so bad (unlike some picks in recent memory), I just feel terrible about having to pair any of them up with Phyllis.

In light of this dilemma, I'm going to do what I always do when I'm terribly vexed: I'll put on my evil mask and try to go for the worst (and most amusing) result! Among all of these guys, Dan's great with words, and he's the one who would probably look most unfavorably upon bullshit out of any of these guys. Sure, some guys talk a good game, but Dan looks like he'd back it up. Most likely, his review of Phyllis will be merciless! Yay!

Dan's winning the voting, but I assume that the voters aren't all jerks like I am. See you next week! *giggle*