New York Post Dating: Like seafood? Try the red snapper
Last week, we left off with Phyllis needing to choose among three guys. I wasn't too fond of Phyllis based on her dating profile, and I didn't think any of the guys were a particularly good match for her. I picked Dan, who I thought would be the best dating candidate not because he was a good find (he is), but because I thought he'd be intolerant of any bullshit on the date - and the result would be entertaining. Fast forward to this week's Meet Market column, and we see that Phyllis chose Neil, who I ruled out because I didn't think he'd find Phyllis to be his cup of tea.
Well, he must have lied about the makeup thing, because he definitely found her to be a good catch. (And she definitely wore a lot of makeup on the date) He found her to be easygoing - something I wouldn't have expected based on her admission that she feels the need to play games. They babbled on for a few hours over seafood at Ocean 50 and then carried things along to Pianos, everyone's favorite hipster hellhole. Have I mentioned yet that he's a screaming metrosexual? Or that he gives off signals that any cute girl in a trendy outfit would keep him happy enough?
I wish I had more to say, based on the hearts given (a lot) and the sanguine evaluations, but that's all there is. Really. They just did a lot of talking. They don't even recall what they said, or if anything stood out. Can I be a grinch and say that there's nothing here except two people who know when to cut themselves off in the middle of a soliloquy, such that both people feel like they're talking enough throughout the night? That's what you'll find in a lot of people nowadays: they like talking to themselves, about themselves, in front of a member of the opposite sex so that they don't feel lonely doing it - and so that they have a flimsy excuse for having sex with that person.
Speaking of people talking about themselves:
Enough with the blabber, onto this week's matchup: Lev is the guy picking one of three girls for a date (+ restaurant review). He has normal interests, has a sense of humor, looks handsome enough, has reasonable expectations for a potential dater, and doesn't give any warning signs. Okay, maybe there's just ONE warning sign: he likes heckling at sports events. I personally might enjoy that sort of thing in a friend (seriously, there's nothing better than a good heckler at a sports game), but that might be something girls aren't interested in. In any case, at least we know he has a passion for sports, hence we should rule out any girls that seem uppity about male interests; you know, like Queen Worst.
His choices:
Youri scares me. In a lot of ways. I don't want to write a page about how she's flunked miserably here, so I'll quickly summarize: people consider her "obnoxious" by her own admission; she's been on "a million dates", also self-indicated; and although she doesn't have an iPod (you know, that $400 music player toy), she brags about the fact that she'll buy one soon. Umm, no, I won't be taking this one home to Mom anytime soon.
Jennifer seems a bit better. That is, if you only read the first and last questions. She has little time for a relationship, and her worst date story reveals that not only committed a cardinal dating sin once, but that she doesn't even really take the blame for it. ("I made plans with a man a week in advance and didn't get a call to confirm." Buy a fuckin calendar, lady!) I'm not down with this one either.
This leaves us with Jaime, and since we're down to the end, I'll try not to nitpick:
At this early stage of the polling, Jennifer's got a slight lead over Jaime - but it's close. Youri is far behind. Lev has the final say no matter what, and I think he's going to see that Jaime's a nice girl and a safe bet. If he's a poor judge of character, he might go for Jennifer. I hope not. After all, somewhere in my rotten soul, a soft spot wants to see the winning streak keep going.
Catch ya next week.
Well, he must have lied about the makeup thing, because he definitely found her to be a good catch. (And she definitely wore a lot of makeup on the date) He found her to be easygoing - something I wouldn't have expected based on her admission that she feels the need to play games. They babbled on for a few hours over seafood at Ocean 50 and then carried things along to Pianos, everyone's favorite hipster hellhole. Have I mentioned yet that he's a screaming metrosexual? Or that he gives off signals that any cute girl in a trendy outfit would keep him happy enough?
I wish I had more to say, based on the hearts given (a lot) and the sanguine evaluations, but that's all there is. Really. They just did a lot of talking. They don't even recall what they said, or if anything stood out. Can I be a grinch and say that there's nothing here except two people who know when to cut themselves off in the middle of a soliloquy, such that both people feel like they're talking enough throughout the night? That's what you'll find in a lot of people nowadays: they like talking to themselves, about themselves, in front of a member of the opposite sex so that they don't feel lonely doing it - and so that they have a flimsy excuse for having sex with that person.
Speaking of people talking about themselves:
We thought Phyllis, 23, a pretty publicist with a passion for life, had made a smart move when she opted for Neil, a 26-year-old in corporate development. Were we right? Well, of course we were.I'll give them enough credit by saying that their record has actually been pretty good since they stopped sending people to movie premieres and sex plays. We'll forget the frequent mismatches, awful dating venues, match candidates seemingly from outer space, and terrible profiles/photographs which used to be the norm leading up to a month ago. They've finally hit a success streak where they match a trendy girl to a casual, decent-looking guy, and somehow everything works without the girl aggravating the hell out of her date or making harsh judgements about the guy's manners/bank account/looks. If you had told me the column was lying for the past four weeks and each date ended on one of those crash-landing results, I'd believe it. Either the authors have found a truckload of mellowed-out girls to put in the column, or they're just having amazing luck.
Enough with the blabber, onto this week's matchup: Lev is the guy picking one of three girls for a date (+ restaurant review). He has normal interests, has a sense of humor, looks handsome enough, has reasonable expectations for a potential dater, and doesn't give any warning signs. Okay, maybe there's just ONE warning sign: he likes heckling at sports events. I personally might enjoy that sort of thing in a friend (seriously, there's nothing better than a good heckler at a sports game), but that might be something girls aren't interested in. In any case, at least we know he has a passion for sports, hence we should rule out any girls that seem uppity about male interests; you know, like Queen Worst.
His choices:
Youri scares me. In a lot of ways. I don't want to write a page about how she's flunked miserably here, so I'll quickly summarize: people consider her "obnoxious" by her own admission; she's been on "a million dates", also self-indicated; and although she doesn't have an iPod (you know, that $400 music player toy), she brags about the fact that she'll buy one soon. Umm, no, I won't be taking this one home to Mom anytime soon.
Jennifer seems a bit better. That is, if you only read the first and last questions. She has little time for a relationship, and her worst date story reveals that not only committed a cardinal dating sin once, but that she doesn't even really take the blame for it. ("I made plans with a man a week in advance and didn't get a call to confirm." Buy a fuckin calendar, lady!) I'm not down with this one either.
This leaves us with Jaime, and since we're down to the end, I'll try not to nitpick:
What's not sexy? Arrogance.Good answer! Forget the rest, I give my stamp of approval.
At this early stage of the polling, Jennifer's got a slight lead over Jaime - but it's close. Youri is far behind. Lev has the final say no matter what, and I think he's going to see that Jaime's a nice girl and a safe bet. If he's a poor judge of character, he might go for Jennifer. I hope not. After all, somewhere in my rotten soul, a soft spot wants to see the winning streak keep going.
Catch ya next week.
posted by Brian Van at
9:57 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home