New York Post Dating: The Bling-Bling Edition

Want a link to the Post's dating page? Sure you do.

I wasn't too happy with my choices for Pamela's date last week. The people have spoken regardless - Pamela chose Jason, and so did the voters. I'm relieved that they were more decisive than myself.

For the post-date summaries, we'll start with Jason. It seems he is not odd as I originally envisioned him to be. No, he's a typical New York corporate whitebread ex-jock type. He wasn't pretending when he mentioned sports 90 times in his profile - the first thing he brought up on the date was March Madness. That's kind of a risky topic to go for with a girl like Pamela, as I wouldn't have guessed she's a sports fanatic.

Generally, he really didn't have anything interesting to say about the date. They talked about a bunch of boring personal things, and the only highlights are the coincidental connections that they share. I don't think he finds Pamela sexy.

So, what about Pamela? I'll back off, and let her hang herself:

He was tall and cute, wearing a jacket and black pants. He was very nicely dressed. I noticed that Jason had a nice smile and he was tall, definitely taller than me. I would say he was the perfect height - probably 6-foot to my 5-foot-4.

Tall tall tall. That's what Pamela's looking for. That single-minded focus on a physical attribute is a glaring warning sign that Pamela doesn't seek out the best qualities in her partners. Oh, and perfect height? He's got 8 inches on you - that's perfect if you want to be his midget helper.

My first reaction to Jason was very positive. I had based my selection of him on the small photograph of him I was sent - and also on the fact that he works in a similar field to mine.

I left in the part about the job fields just to be fair. Really, she's all about looks. That, and...

Riingo was a great date spot, and the food was spectacular. I had sea bass and Jason ordered Kobe beef.

Oi! This is what happens when the Post pays the bill! Jason noted they had five courses, and now she reveals that they ordered two of the most expensive things on the menu! This is a fantasy date for people who haven't hit 25 yet. Hell, I know people over 30 that can't afford this sort of meal on a regular basis.

We got talking about traveling, Europe and wine over dinner.

Mo' money, mo' money, mo' money! Jason didn't recall any of this. This is perhaps because your typical 24-year-old male doesn't have the pricey taste for these sort of things. Is this what drove Jason away?

At the end of the date, he gave me a big hug goodbye and he also offered to pay for my cab, which I thought was very gentlemanly.

Jason's a gentleman, sure. Of course, this scores double points for Pamela because she's not only looking for a handsome gentleman - she's looking for a handsome gentleman who has mucho dinero and will gladly spend it on her!

Well, what did Pamela actually say about Jason?

The conversation was good. We were talking the whole time and we really had a great connection... I definitely thought Jason was really nice, and at the end of the night he asked me for my number... I'd like to hang out again.

Sure, if he's paying.

This week, we have Eric, a 26-year-old attorney, choosing among three female daters. Can we get through our leading man's profile without finding a fatal flaw or a cliche?

...lists his main interests as going to the gym, exploring the city and "buying things I can't afford and not caring about it."

Perhaps not.

The best part is the Post's response: "We're down with that, Eric." If that doesn't explain my exasperation with this dating column, nothing will.

Just in case we didn't figure out that he's in good shape, he describes himself as athletic shortly thereafter. He dislikes show-offs and snobs - fair enough, except how does this make sense, then?

He's looking for a woman who "thinks of others before she thinks of herself. Oh, and it doesn't hurt if she looks good in a baseball cap and a tight pair of Sevens!"

Sevens, for the fashionably uninitiated, are female designer jeans. You will find many snobby and show-off ladies wearing these jeans, so this makes no sense whatsoever. Beyond that, why the hell does this guy know anything about women's fashion? Something's not right here.

Well, are any of these girls drawing up Lucky Number Seven this week?

Elizabeth, probably not. For starters, she has a child already. That isn't a guaranteed mood killer among all men, but I could see a guy like Eric running far into the distance from that kind of situation. Also, she's older than Eric - not a problem for Eric, but might be for Elizabeth. Another minus: she likes women! Uhhh, wait; she says she'll "always treat a girl like gold," which seems awfully familiar... hey, wait a second! That's Jason's line from last week! Wow, the Post is getting sloppy! Clean up your dating columns, guys! Well, other than that, we know she doesn't like shy men (from her "unattractive" question), and she doesn't go for an aggressive approach from men she doesn't already find attractive (from the "worst date" question). I also think she's pretty. (the picture is botched, though; more on that later)

What about Jaclyn? To start, she's younger (not older) than Eric. They also share something in common - going to the gym! Do they share any other dating profile cliches?

How would you describe yourself? I'd say I'm smart, sarcastic, honest, funny, reliable and kind.

They're not shared cliches, but cliches nonetheless. Everyone would love to say most of these things about themselves. Don't tell us, show us! Other than that, she wants to travel, she wants flowers on the first date, and she wants to eat at a trendy restaurant (and NOT just a movie!). More rich tastes. At least Eric can afford it on a lawyer's salary.

Finally, we have Suzanne. It's the same story as Elizabeth - another botched picture, another girl who's older than the guy, another answer from one of last week's daters accidentally left in there (which is why they asked her about the dating scene TWICE - one of those answers belonged to Vikas from last week). Suzanne is definitely a social butterfly, based on her answers to a couple of these questions; however, we don't have much to work with here for personality and romantic insight. I can't rate her a strong pick based on the vague profile, but at least I can't rule her out either.

Note about the pictures: There's something terrible about all of them this week. They're very shadowy, and they aren't very kind to the ladies' skin tones. I consider that to be a ghastly mistake for a dating column. Jaclyn's picture came out the best of the three; Elizabeth and Suzanne, however, simply don't look right. They're all rather lovely ladies, so this is quite unfortunate. I'd sue the photographer. (Maybe that could be the second date; remember, Eric's a lawyer!)

Who do I choose? Whoever I think would look the best in Seven Jeans! That's probably Suzanne; Elizabeth had a kid so designer jeans are a risk, and Jaclyn looks a little softer than Suzanne. It's really a close call. Jaclyn's winning the voting (must be because of the botched pictures), but it's not by a large margin as the other two are definitely in the hunt. In any case, we'll find out next week who gets picked!