New York Post Dating: Decidedly Not Funny Anymore
Another week, another review.
Marni chose Ted for her date, and they enjoyed a lovely evening at Havana Alma de Cuba (a place both participants seemed to appreciate). They chatted long into the evening, they both admitted they were flustered to be on a blind date in the public eye (Ted's a schoolteacher, so all of his kids will be asking him, "Did you hit that, Mr T?" in perpetuity), and they both enjoyed each other's company. They seem to want to date again, so I suppose the Post can take credit for a succesful match! And I can whine once again about a lack of comic material!
As a nice touch, they both showed up quite early to the date - unlike other mobbed-out dipshits we've seen here before.
Anyway, onto this week's daters...
Meet Matthew, someone so obsessed with food it rivals the Post's obsession with mentioning the fact. Foodie foodie foodie. Yeah, we get the hint. Matt's pushing 40, so we should be looking at another "mature" date this week (well, maybe not; I know some NYU students who would gladly date him if he'd take them thong shopping). What's he looking for?
Matt's a seemingly interesting person otherwise. Who are our matches? Well, let's lead in by saying that no one breaks 35. One of them's 28. I don't know about this...
First, we have Ann, a 33-year-old lawyer. She seems like an awfully nice and interesting person; in no way does she resemble a hard-boiled career woman, as lawyers are often portrayed. (Think of all those smoking-hot ADAs on "Law & Order") She mentions that she likes going out to eat, so that's a sign of compatibility. My only concern:
Next, Lyla is a PR exec, the closest to Matt's age, and definitely seems neurotic! Wow, she's picky - it's not as if her list of gripes is unreasonable, but she's uncommonly specific - and snarky - about what she is and isn't looking for. Let's run down the list: "funny, independent, smart, worldly, well-traveled... at least 3 inches taller than me", plus no bald guys, no slackers, no smokers, and no mamma's boys. On the plus side, she'd like to explore new restaurants!
Finally, Lauren is 28 to Matt's 49. (I threw on an extra decade for that jacket.) Lauren's interests are very youthful - she's a flirt, she's a drinker, she's high-maintenance, she's a "social butterfly", and she'd love to play mini-golf. Oh dear, this is not going to work out. However, she could always give me a call, as I know where to find a couple of mini-golf courses in the area...
Well, after all of this, the choice is obvious in my eyes: it is Ann. Indeed, she is winning the readers' poll midweek. I don't know if they'll get along (I think it's a longshot), but we did our best to help and that's about all we can do. In the meantime, I'm going to dig out my credit card for a shopping date with a couple of coeds down by University Place...
Marni chose Ted for her date, and they enjoyed a lovely evening at Havana Alma de Cuba (a place both participants seemed to appreciate). They chatted long into the evening, they both admitted they were flustered to be on a blind date in the public eye (Ted's a schoolteacher, so all of his kids will be asking him, "Did you hit that, Mr T?" in perpetuity), and they both enjoyed each other's company. They seem to want to date again, so I suppose the Post can take credit for a succesful match! And I can whine once again about a lack of comic material!
As a nice touch, they both showed up quite early to the date - unlike other mobbed-out dipshits we've seen here before.
Anyway, onto this week's daters...
Meet Matthew, someone so obsessed with food it rivals the Post's obsession with mentioning the fact. Foodie foodie foodie. Yeah, we get the hint. Matt's pushing 40, so we should be looking at another "mature" date this week (well, maybe not; I know some NYU students who would gladly date him if he'd take them thong shopping). What's he looking for?
When it comes to women, there's nothing more appealing to Matthew than a big smile and confidence - and conversely, "neurotic behavior" doesn't win many points with him.Well, if we need to avoid neurotic older women, we might have our work cut out for us. Also, here's the response to the often-deadly "worst date" question:
We asked him to tell us what his worst date ever was, but he wasn't divulging much in the way of details "It's really a long story - but let's just say she was hideous, unfriendly, and had no self respect!"Uh-oh! You must use the rules of job interviewing here - never speak badly about former dates like that! Calling your former dates hideous is going to raise a lot of red flags with your current date. Well, that and vaguely resembling Paul Giamatti. Matt needs an Extreme Queer Makeover, or whatever they call it nowadays.
Matt's a seemingly interesting person otherwise. Who are our matches? Well, let's lead in by saying that no one breaks 35. One of them's 28. I don't know about this...
First, we have Ann, a 33-year-old lawyer. She seems like an awfully nice and interesting person; in no way does she resemble a hard-boiled career woman, as lawyers are often portrayed. (Think of all those smoking-hot ADAs on "Law & Order") She mentions that she likes going out to eat, so that's a sign of compatibility. My only concern:
How would you describe yourself? ... I'm low-maintenance in esthetic ways - i.e., it takes me no time to get ready!Would a foodie like Matt prefer someone meticulous about such things? Surely there's a logical disconnect in dating someone who took less time to get ready than the chef used to position the carrots on the 4th course. But I won't hold it against her... she seems alright.
Next, Lyla is a PR exec, the closest to Matt's age, and definitely seems neurotic! Wow, she's picky - it's not as if her list of gripes is unreasonable, but she's uncommonly specific - and snarky - about what she is and isn't looking for. Let's run down the list: "funny, independent, smart, worldly, well-traveled... at least 3 inches taller than me", plus no bald guys, no slackers, no smokers, and no mamma's boys. On the plus side, she'd like to explore new restaurants!
Finally, Lauren is 28 to Matt's 49. (I threw on an extra decade for that jacket.) Lauren's interests are very youthful - she's a flirt, she's a drinker, she's high-maintenance, she's a "social butterfly", and she'd love to play mini-golf. Oh dear, this is not going to work out. However, she could always give me a call, as I know where to find a couple of mini-golf courses in the area...
Well, after all of this, the choice is obvious in my eyes: it is Ann. Indeed, she is winning the readers' poll midweek. I don't know if they'll get along (I think it's a longshot), but we did our best to help and that's about all we can do. In the meantime, I'm going to dig out my credit card for a shopping date with a couple of coeds down by University Place...
posted by Brian Van at
9:06 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home