New York Post Dating: Sex on the screen, just a kiss on the date
Link to the NYP Dating contents page...
Ethan chose Adrienne, she also rocked the voting, and the Post commits three of their typical egregious sins against both journalism and the dating scene:
I'll sum it up for you quickly: they talked a lot, and they might hang out again. I'm left undecided about Ethan, because while his body language and words tell one tale, Adrianne's observations tell another. Listening to her, you see a likeable guy who should get a second date; listening to him, you just want to throw him off a moving train. Adrienne, however, is handling things perfectly, so if things don't work out here (and they may not, as sparks did not fly yet - even though I don't think that's necessarily a bad sign), she would make a perfect date for a cool, motivated guy.
Knowing that the Post has plans to use a pair of front-row tickets for "Kama Sutra: The Musical", who will be sitting in the hot blind date seats this week?
Abby is 24, and she's not giving off a hottie vibe. She just doesn't have the look. She fell hook, line, and sinker for the "worst date" question ("They just keep getting worse!"). She's a "preppy chick with a hippie heart", which I don't understand whatsoever. She names a few random activities that she enjoys, like "snowboarding", "reading", and "hanging out with friends". She's looking to avoid conceited men and bad kissers. (Hey, Abby, congrats on getting this particular week; you just dodged a bullet with Ethan from last week)
So who's the least conceited with the best lips? Let's see:
Neil, 35, the only banker who wears a crew neck. What a goofy smile on this one! But this isn't a modelling competition, so if Abby doesn't hear the "35 years old" part, she just might go for him. He enjoys good kissers too! Here's a choice quote:
Jason, 28, but looks 35. What does he do for a living? I forgot, I was distracted by the hideous turtleneck. His profile doesn't have any red flags, so we can count on him for a non-evil date. I call it a tie between him and Neil - that is, until we factor in...
Tom, 23, the forgotten member of the Strokes! Has no shame about ordering sugary alcoholic drinks! (upon a quick look, he may have no shame at all!) Looking for a girl with "a spicy personality" and "cute insecurities"... which begs for someone with Lower East Side mental damage and not Upper East Side prep (like Abby). Let's run through some more discordant interests: "skiing", "George Carlin", "drums", "great coffee", "Central Park." (This stuff just writes itself) And, best of all:
After looking closely and carefully at these clowns, the only one who makes a sensible date for Abby is Jason. Sure, he's not quite that spicy, but he might be on Abby's level... the other two definitely aren't, although she might have one more "worst date" tale from one of those guys. The vox populi right now screams for Neil, but I'm hoping more people see the fact that, again, Neil is 11 years older than Abby - and vote accordingly.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye!!!
Ethan chose Adrienne, she also rocked the voting, and the Post commits three of their typical egregious sins against both journalism and the dating scene:
- Those black & white "poll results" pics that make a horror out of Kim and Rachael - so not nice of them. By the way, my Peter Gallagher joke from last week just broke all defenders and sprinted for the endzone.
- Once again, they're pimping a restaurant. Hard. "Le Zinc" sounds like a French dietary supplement - taken after a meal with your "Le Multi-Vitamin". (I just want to confess that I truly want to commit suicide after making that joke. Sorry.)
- Once again, our blind date is sent to see something with unsettling sexual overtones - in this case, the "Kinsey" movie.
I'll sum it up for you quickly: they talked a lot, and they might hang out again. I'm left undecided about Ethan, because while his body language and words tell one tale, Adrianne's observations tell another. Listening to her, you see a likeable guy who should get a second date; listening to him, you just want to throw him off a moving train. Adrienne, however, is handling things perfectly, so if things don't work out here (and they may not, as sparks did not fly yet - even though I don't think that's necessarily a bad sign), she would make a perfect date for a cool, motivated guy.
Knowing that the Post has plans to use a pair of front-row tickets for "Kama Sutra: The Musical", who will be sitting in the hot blind date seats this week?
Abby is 24, and she's not giving off a hottie vibe. She just doesn't have the look. She fell hook, line, and sinker for the "worst date" question ("They just keep getting worse!"). She's a "preppy chick with a hippie heart", which I don't understand whatsoever. She names a few random activities that she enjoys, like "snowboarding", "reading", and "hanging out with friends". She's looking to avoid conceited men and bad kissers. (Hey, Abby, congrats on getting this particular week; you just dodged a bullet with Ethan from last week)
So who's the least conceited with the best lips? Let's see:
Neil, 35, the only banker who wears a crew neck. What a goofy smile on this one! But this isn't a modelling competition, so if Abby doesn't hear the "35 years old" part, she just might go for him. He enjoys good kissers too! Here's a choice quote:
What animal do you most resemble, and why? I'd have to say a cat, because that's the pet I have.Bizarre! Look up "resemble" sometime in the dictionary! And another one:
What's not sexy? Racists and liars.Wow, unintentional comedy galore! If I were watching this on TV, I'd have pissed my pants laughing. But he's a Yankees fan, so he's the man to beat!
Jason, 28, but looks 35. What does he do for a living? I forgot, I was distracted by the hideous turtleneck. His profile doesn't have any red flags, so we can count on him for a non-evil date. I call it a tie between him and Neil - that is, until we factor in...
Tom, 23, the forgotten member of the Strokes! Has no shame about ordering sugary alcoholic drinks! (upon a quick look, he may have no shame at all!) Looking for a girl with "a spicy personality" and "cute insecurities"... which begs for someone with Lower East Side mental damage and not Upper East Side prep (like Abby). Let's run through some more discordant interests: "skiing", "George Carlin", "drums", "great coffee", "Central Park." (This stuff just writes itself) And, best of all:
What's not sexy? Dead fish syndrome. I don't care if you're drop dead gorgeous - if you won't meet me halfway, you might as well walk halfway home.What the hell does that mean? Flashes of Biff from "Back To The Future": "Why don't you make like a tree... and get the hell out of here!" That made no sense whatsoever. Hilarious!
After looking closely and carefully at these clowns, the only one who makes a sensible date for Abby is Jason. Sure, he's not quite that spicy, but he might be on Abby's level... the other two definitely aren't, although she might have one more "worst date" tale from one of those guys. The vox populi right now screams for Neil, but I'm hoping more people see the fact that, again, Neil is 11 years older than Abby - and vote accordingly.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye!!!
posted by Brian Van at
9:41 AM
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