New York Post Meet Market: That &#$@ Stole My Umbrella!

On this week's Tom & Mac show:

Virnalisa did indeed choose Todd the (evil?) H.R. manager. How'd it go?

Todd is a great talker and a real gentleman, but I don't think there's any chemistry there.

Awww, rats! The streak's broken! So what went wrong?

Well, nothing, it seems! Sounds like Virnalisa had a good time:

While we were eating dinner, the conversation flowed really well.

We talked about what food we liked... it was a surprise to learn that Todd dislikes the same things as me.

Meli Melo is a really nice restaurant... definitely a great blind date spot.

Perhaps her writeup makes things seem rosy at first glance, but this is all she really has to say about Todd that's nice:

I thought that he looked way better in the flesh than he did in his picture, so that was a nice surprise!

He's a really cool guy: If I had a girlfriend and thought that they'd get on, I'd definitely recommend Todd.

Yikes! That's no good! I mean, these statements sound vaguely flattering if you're not talking about a dating companion, but do they give an impression that any guy really wants to leave on a girl he's trying to romance? That you're not as ugly as she thought? That you would hook him up with an available girlfriend, but not date him yourself? These are all backhanded compliments! Why not add in that he reminds you of your brother, V? (Or worse, ex-boyfriend. That is a comparison that often indicates zero romance.)

Sadly, Todd was hopeful for more until he cracked open the Sunday paper:

We didn't kiss, but I did get her phone number, and I would like to meet her again to see if we are compatible past a first impression.

That's gotta be a rough way to find out. That said, his writeup was rather brief and made the date look even less exciting than what Virnalisa described. So, while each dater enjoyed the evening overall (it was probably the escargot appetizer, the coq au vin main course, and the 1999 Cabernet Franc), Cupid's arrow sails wide right. Darn.

We'll just have to try again, won't we?

Another repeat dater: Leslie! I'm happy to see her again. I approved of Liberal Leslie the last time - well, except for the liberal part. Remember, as a political moderate and profile evaluator, I tell people to leave political alliances out of the profile unless it's absolutely 100% a part of your core identity - otherwise, that just serves to alienate a large portion of the dating pool, including people who could have been your true love. Enough about that; Leslie is as cute and nice as ever, and I have strong hopes for our matchup this week as long as we have at least one good Democratic hopeful to choose from. You know, unlike the mayoral race in NYC this year...

Quick aside - Tom & Mac reassure Leslie about her fears for another worst date:

Let it be noted that Meet Market does not send its daters to Taco Bell or other assorted fast food restaurants

Oh please. I could easily spend $200 at Taco Bell.
(Just kidding. And I promise never to do that... again! heh heh)

Who's bringing the romance for next week? Let's see:

Boris loves his job, plays chess, enjoys a good vodka, kids and pets love him! Yeah, and, what else?

I can be a bit cool with strangers.

I'm really bad at small talk; When the discussion has no flavor, I feel sad.

Oi. This wasn't even an answer to one of the trick questions; this is the answer you've gotta nail down, dude. When they ask, "How would you describe yourself", you need to be closing! Ahhh, poor Boris. Fix up the profile and you'll be a winner, trust me.

Next, Matt, who is a corporate research specialist. Here's another example of unnecessary negativity in a dating profile, although Matt's overall profile keeps him in the running:

What do you think of the New York dating scene? It's extremely easy to meet people, but a real challenge to find someone you get along with and want to see romantically. It's also difficult at times to determine the other person's objectives, and that's probably the thing that annoys me the most. A lot of people act shady and keep you in the dark about what they really want or expect.

Or, you could have just stopped after the first sentence and everything would have been fine. The last thing you want to admit is that you're running into severe problems or annoyance in your dating experiences. It doesn't gather a lick of sympathy, but it does generate a lot of doubt for the discerning reader. Plus, as I've mentioned before, it never looks good when you're pointing the finger at others. All other things considered, though, Matt's profile paints a picture of a fairly adventurous person who might be attractive to Leslie.

Finally, we have Steve the web designer. Aside from being handsome, this guy has the mental goods to succeed. He sounds rather busy, but he looks like a great match for Leslie. And he gives us our story of the week, which ends with, and is best summarized by, this:

But then, when I go to leave, I find out she's taken my umbrella!

Horrible! You gotta be a nasty kind of b-word to do that to someone on a date! (Well, a replacement is only 5 bucks, but still.)

I'm going solidly with Steve. The other two guys look like nice men, but Steve's profile is strong all the way. It's a tight initial contest, as Steve is leading Boris by 2 points and Matt by 4 on the first day of voting.