New York Post Dating: Dischordant
As usual, a link to the dating mainpage. I completely love what happened this week, and I've had a good column in me for a few days, so excuse me if I'm perhaps a bit giddy.
*hee hee*
So, we never found out who won the poll, because that garish head shot of Rob is still burned into the Post's website server. But we do know that Adam chose Lori after thinking it over a bit. Right from the start, you know that Adam is underwhelmed by all of his choices, and especially underwhelmed by Lori, as he reasons in a way that makes it sound like he's not very into Lori.
And now, a word from our sponsor, Moda... "The staff at Moda were very good. They brought us great food - including stuff we had not even asked for..." Thank you Ruth fucking Reichl.
Back to Lori - "...my first thought was that she did not look anything like her picture. She looked totally different - and definitely better!" Cripes! Can you say anything more roundabout insulting than that in a major metropolitan daily? (Oh, yeah, we're talking about the New York Post here. Even Elisa Lipsky-Karasz's softball gossip column is more offensive by an order of magnitude) "But I do try not to make snap decisions about people based on first impressions, so I tried to reserve judgment, go in with an open mind and just see how things would unfold." In other words - maybe we'll be friends if she'll come to my shows, maybe I'll let her have sex with me if I get drunk enough. Ugh. The rest of his side of the story is rather pathetic - sparks aren't there, he really doesn't have the time for dinner anyway, maybe they'll keep in touch... I think he's just being really nice about this - he really is not impressed by her at all.
To make this even more painful, she actually likes him! She was physically and emotionally attracted, she's being cautious about the prospects (in a way that reminds me of every other New Yorker's reaction when they date someone that they'd like to follow around like a lost dog for the rest of their lives), and she ends her response with some therapy-enhanced self assurances so that she'll be prepared for the inevitable letdown. How sad! Keep taking your meds, girl. He's gone. I'll buy you a drink sometime.
Damn you, Col Allan. DAMN YOU! I warned against this. *sigh*
Whosit gonna be this week?
Mousy Ali - I hate the photographer, I really do - is a running enthusiast. Slightly cynical, mostly nice, hates drama, doesn't go for cocky guys. Wow, I'm glad I'm not on this list of male daters, as I'd be immediately ejected:
Haldan is nice. But young. Other than the yoga thing (completely immasculine, if there's such a word), he seems like our hero for the week. Note that "hero" is not equal to "dating pick", but if it's any consolation, I'd buy this guy a round for being 8 years too young to be successful in dating. Getting laid, on the other hand, should be no problem for him as long as he finds all the NYU bars...
Chris... blech. Ugly face, ugly profession. Not very manly. And I don't buy the outdoorsy stuff... I bet this guy is the type of guy to take $10,000 worth of outdoor equipment with him when he goes "camping". Oi.
JJ is much much worse. A complete fop and a borderline caricature. He needs to be sent back to the 80's into the John Hughes movie from which he came. Seriously, didn't I see him the other day as a commentator on a vH1 special? But maybe that makes him a great date, if for no other reason than to give Ali another girlfriend...
Okay, this one was a tough choice. I looked at Ali, looked at her interests, looked at the three guys, and simply gave up. I stupidly gave my impulse vote for Haldan (I've since changed my mind), who has a measly 5.5% of the voting. The other two guys are running neck and neck at around 47-48% each. If you're going to ask me who among those two is the best fit, it's Chris. No, I don't like him, but Ali is an ad executive and perhaps fits well with Chris's yuppietastic personality. JJ is probably a fun drinking buddy for a girl, but not this particular girl. (Don't you think advertising can be a dry industry at times? I think so) I think she'll choose Chris, but in the end everyone loses. (as always!)
See you next week, when we use another trainwreck date as an excuse to pimp out a trendy restuarant once again...
*hee hee*
So, we never found out who won the poll, because that garish head shot of Rob is still burned into the Post's website server. But we do know that Adam chose Lori after thinking it over a bit. Right from the start, you know that Adam is underwhelmed by all of his choices, and especially underwhelmed by Lori, as he reasons in a way that makes it sound like he's not very into Lori.
And now, a word from our sponsor, Moda... "The staff at Moda were very good. They brought us great food - including stuff we had not even asked for..." Thank you Ruth fucking Reichl.
Back to Lori - "...my first thought was that she did not look anything like her picture. She looked totally different - and definitely better!" Cripes! Can you say anything more roundabout insulting than that in a major metropolitan daily? (Oh, yeah, we're talking about the New York Post here. Even Elisa Lipsky-Karasz's softball gossip column is more offensive by an order of magnitude) "But I do try not to make snap decisions about people based on first impressions, so I tried to reserve judgment, go in with an open mind and just see how things would unfold." In other words - maybe we'll be friends if she'll come to my shows, maybe I'll let her have sex with me if I get drunk enough. Ugh. The rest of his side of the story is rather pathetic - sparks aren't there, he really doesn't have the time for dinner anyway, maybe they'll keep in touch... I think he's just being really nice about this - he really is not impressed by her at all.
To make this even more painful, she actually likes him! She was physically and emotionally attracted, she's being cautious about the prospects (in a way that reminds me of every other New Yorker's reaction when they date someone that they'd like to follow around like a lost dog for the rest of their lives), and she ends her response with some therapy-enhanced self assurances so that she'll be prepared for the inevitable letdown. How sad! Keep taking your meds, girl. He's gone. I'll buy you a drink sometime.
Damn you, Col Allan. DAMN YOU! I warned against this. *sigh*
Whosit gonna be this week?
Mousy Ali - I hate the photographer, I really do - is a running enthusiast. Slightly cynical, mostly nice, hates drama, doesn't go for cocky guys. Wow, I'm glad I'm not on this list of male daters, as I'd be immediately ejected:
Haldan is nice. But young. Other than the yoga thing (completely immasculine, if there's such a word), he seems like our hero for the week. Note that "hero" is not equal to "dating pick", but if it's any consolation, I'd buy this guy a round for being 8 years too young to be successful in dating. Getting laid, on the other hand, should be no problem for him as long as he finds all the NYU bars...
Chris... blech. Ugly face, ugly profession. Not very manly. And I don't buy the outdoorsy stuff... I bet this guy is the type of guy to take $10,000 worth of outdoor equipment with him when he goes "camping". Oi.
JJ is much much worse. A complete fop and a borderline caricature. He needs to be sent back to the 80's into the John Hughes movie from which he came. Seriously, didn't I see him the other day as a commentator on a vH1 special? But maybe that makes him a great date, if for no other reason than to give Ali another girlfriend...
Okay, this one was a tough choice. I looked at Ali, looked at her interests, looked at the three guys, and simply gave up. I stupidly gave my impulse vote for Haldan (I've since changed my mind), who has a measly 5.5% of the voting. The other two guys are running neck and neck at around 47-48% each. If you're going to ask me who among those two is the best fit, it's Chris. No, I don't like him, but Ali is an ad executive and perhaps fits well with Chris's yuppietastic personality. JJ is probably a fun drinking buddy for a girl, but not this particular girl. (Don't you think advertising can be a dry industry at times? I think so) I think she'll choose Chris, but in the end everyone loses. (as always!)
See you next week, when we use another trainwreck date as an excuse to pimp out a trendy restuarant once again...
posted by Brian Van at
11:11 AM
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