New York Post Dating: Tight Pants Aren't Good
Hit The Post's Dating Site to see this week's articles.
It seems like Zach blew it with Minnie (a nice pick, going against the vote and picking the cutest and most likeable girl of the bunch), as Minnie didn't see a connection and Zach basically made a lot of excuses for not getting the job done. Zach's just a strange guy. I think he had a chance otherwise, because she did give him three hearts - three hearts gets you a closed mouth kiss goodnight, right? Oi.
What Zach remembers about the date is totally the opposite of what Minnie remembers. My personality analyzer says: Zach is self-obsessed and self-conscious (count the number of times that the subject of his sentences is "I"), where Minnie is balanced. Minnie remembers an actual date among two people. Zach can only think about what Zach did or didn't do.
Onto this week's victims:
Cynthia, web product designer. Curly red hair. Mmmmmmm. And she lives up to the stereotype, too! To quote: "passionate, energetic and enthusiastic" plus curious, intelligent and sensual. Here in man-land, we have one word for that: feisty! (Verdict: I like her. Good catch. What's she doing trying to find a date in the Post???)
She wants an honest guy. DO WE HAVE AN HONEST GUY IN THE AUDIENCE?!?
Michael might be honest. I'm honest too: what a shiny forehead! Nitpick: "What's your worst date experience? - Getting stood up by a woman I'd planned an elaborate date for. I bought tickets to see a band, and wound up going alone!" Not to say that doesn't suck, but that kind of date sounds REALLY FUCKING ELABORATE. Did have have to cancel his dinner reservations, too (another seemingly simple arrangement)? Ugh. An elaborate date involves a violinist at the restaurant when there normally isn't one there; a horse carriage ride by reservation through Central Park; and flowers and candles waiting in a posh hotel room. Tickets to see a band - decidedly NOT elaborate. Well, enough of my ranting - Michael's not a rapist, and that's all he's got going for him. NEXT!
Rob resembles all the wrong celebrities. Otherwise, he kinda sounds like me, which makes him hideous but perfect. It also explains why he's dateless. NEXT!
David's just damn weird. And we're plum out of potential dates.
Uhhh, after all that ranting I did about Michael, he turned out to be the best candidate. Consider it a dating lesson; even when you can find serious nitpicks with someone, that's often the least that can go wrong. Give good people a chance, because not everyone is good. But Michael is dragging behind in the voting a bit... Rob is winning. Mr. Ben Stiller with-weird-looking-grin look-alike might get the girl. He ain't gonna get far, though, as feisty Cynthia might have the best laugh not from his jokes but from the fact that he's (seemingly) 3 inches shorter than her.
(Yes, I know these things. Quite well, actually. Trust me)
That's all until next week!
It seems like Zach blew it with Minnie (a nice pick, going against the vote and picking the cutest and most likeable girl of the bunch), as Minnie didn't see a connection and Zach basically made a lot of excuses for not getting the job done. Zach's just a strange guy. I think he had a chance otherwise, because she did give him three hearts - three hearts gets you a closed mouth kiss goodnight, right? Oi.
What Zach remembers about the date is totally the opposite of what Minnie remembers. My personality analyzer says: Zach is self-obsessed and self-conscious (count the number of times that the subject of his sentences is "I"), where Minnie is balanced. Minnie remembers an actual date among two people. Zach can only think about what Zach did or didn't do.
Onto this week's victims:
Cynthia, web product designer. Curly red hair. Mmmmmmm. And she lives up to the stereotype, too! To quote: "passionate, energetic and enthusiastic" plus curious, intelligent and sensual. Here in man-land, we have one word for that: feisty! (Verdict: I like her. Good catch. What's she doing trying to find a date in the Post???)
She wants an honest guy. DO WE HAVE AN HONEST GUY IN THE AUDIENCE?!?
Michael might be honest. I'm honest too: what a shiny forehead! Nitpick: "What's your worst date experience? - Getting stood up by a woman I'd planned an elaborate date for. I bought tickets to see a band, and wound up going alone!" Not to say that doesn't suck, but that kind of date sounds REALLY FUCKING ELABORATE. Did have have to cancel his dinner reservations, too (another seemingly simple arrangement)? Ugh. An elaborate date involves a violinist at the restaurant when there normally isn't one there; a horse carriage ride by reservation through Central Park; and flowers and candles waiting in a posh hotel room. Tickets to see a band - decidedly NOT elaborate. Well, enough of my ranting - Michael's not a rapist, and that's all he's got going for him. NEXT!
Rob resembles all the wrong celebrities. Otherwise, he kinda sounds like me, which makes him hideous but perfect. It also explains why he's dateless. NEXT!
David's just damn weird. And we're plum out of potential dates.
Uhhh, after all that ranting I did about Michael, he turned out to be the best candidate. Consider it a dating lesson; even when you can find serious nitpicks with someone, that's often the least that can go wrong. Give good people a chance, because not everyone is good. But Michael is dragging behind in the voting a bit... Rob is winning. Mr. Ben Stiller with-weird-looking-grin look-alike might get the girl. He ain't gonna get far, though, as feisty Cynthia might have the best laugh not from his jokes but from the fact that he's (seemingly) 3 inches shorter than her.
(Yes, I know these things. Quite well, actually. Trust me)
That's all until next week!
posted by Brian Van at
1:09 PM
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