Creepy?

Is that the best you can do?

Lessons to be learned:

* When bored at work and writing mindlessly to a newspaper, have a friend stop you.
* Remove signature and full name when sending future "creative letters".
* New York is a really fucking tough dating town. Offer to take out a lonely girl on a date, and there's a chance some sex-starved bitter underpaid editor at a local weekly will peg you out as "creepy".
* When advertising future businesses, never run ads in The New York Press. Ever.
* Don't tell any of your friends when you might appear in the newspaper until it's actually printed and you've seen the final result.
* Post shit like this on Craigslist Missed Encounters next time.
* Do not post your rebuttal to a unflattering newspaper writeup on your blog, as you'll just stick out even worse.