Fun News day!

Oh where, oh where shall I begin? I'm in heaven right now!

Let's start with Lloyd Grove, who completely shirks all responsibility for his gossipy goof-up (bottom). What a complete loser he is. This guy isn't fit to rummage through Anna Wintour's trash for credit card receipts from The Four Seasons.

Then there's the one-two of Page Six and Rush & Molloy, who both today give Brandon Davis (aka Mischa Barton's fucktoy) a chance to further slander his ex-celebutante-debaucherer-in-crime Paris Hilton while giving the National Enquirer free ad space. (or is it really free? I don't trust any of these fucking people any more) All over a racial eptithet. See dictionary under "tempest-in-a-teacup". Yes, it's an insensitive word being used in a demeaning context, but look where it's coming from - the same mouth that deep throated Rick Solomon for the entire world...

Hey, speaking of "Douchebag" Mr. Solomon, guess who Kirsten Dunst has been hanging out with?

Then there's this page of gold nuggets, including something about Steinbrenner and a hot blonde (gag!), Moby (double gag!) being a hypocrite (hurrah! Show that fucker what's for), Harvey Keitel being a dirty old man ("The Piano", anyone?), Jeremy Shockey out on the town with Jesse "The Bachelor" Palmer, and Derek Jeter removing yet another promising woman from the dating pool and ruining life for all the other men on the planet one hot date at a time.

Ted Turner, of course, is batshit crazy. I love that super-flattering picture, too.