Sunday, September 26th

Today: Jonathan Chapman, born in Massachusetts on September 26, 1775, came to be known as "Johnny Appleseed." Of course, an SNL quote comes to mind: "The character Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky.. except for the part about planting appleseeds and not raping men! TO BILL BRASKY!"

Let's start,

New York Times:

"Kindness (Ugh!) of Strangers" By Bob Morris - http://nytimes.com/2004/09/26/fashion/26AGE.html

I don't know what's worse... the trend he's observing, or his own reaction. This looks like a plot inspiration for a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode. I'd say the lesser of the two offenses is Mr. Morris' reaction, and I'll dive in: this man seems to be excessively irritated by unprofessional behavior. Sure, he's got to play the role of gruff for his column's style, but I think his reactions to each of the offenses imply that he thinks he's quite important and does not deserve to be bothered with pushy or slightly intrusive behavior. His overall tone of the article implies that service workers not only should never commit intrusive transgressions, but that the reason is that important people like him wish not to be bothered with any bold or daring conversations with such workers. "Call me a snob, but I like to be served quietly, even deferentially, especially when I am paying top dollar." Well, Mr. Morris, you sir are a snob. I guess it'd be okay if your colleague's son needed a post-graduation job and he asked you for a reference... but it'd be intolerable for a stewardess to attempt to make any similar networking connection. But let's be fair; some of the behavior outlined in the article, collectively weak evidence for any larger trend in society, is frankly rude and obnoxious. The musical cab ride comes to mind as the foremost example; do you choose to jump out of a moving vehicle, or endure an improptu, unwanted audition session? Alright, I'm still thinking about it...

"Father Eats Best" By Rick Marin - http://nytimes.com/2004/09/26/fashion/26BETA.html

Mr. Marin points out a new trend; instead of having homely wives, as many Americans skinny or fat would have, the new breed of dumpy dads all have blazing hot wives. It looks odd because the common thought is, as thousands of romantically jaded folks would claim, "No way she'd ever settle for him in real life!" A quote in the article alludes to the fact that such mispairings of physique in relationships are not the norm (bad pun... but then again, we never saw Norm's wife in "Cheers", did we?) I find this whole column somewhat offensive in the sense that he lists "fat" as an undesirable trait. It is paired in context with "aloof", a term that, at the very least, has a negative connotation. Maybe this is the kind of ignorant thinking that these shows are trying to circumvent, in some respects? That a visually perfect female would not care about such traits in a man with whom she shares a connection??? Well... NAHHHH! Instead, this is the Maxim Magazine mentality at work. Pair "manly men" caricatures with hot chicks, and watch the 18-49 male demographic ratings soar! But the author does have a sincere and admirable sentiment underlying the "fat fat fat!" talk; he is pained to see fathers and husbands as comedy's doormats. Skinny men are included in the archetype, although not in the article; Ray Romano and the late John Ritter also have played up to the "Father Knows Least" gag. Mr. Marin is not looking for buff men on television, he's merely wishing for a husband, however imperfect, with redeeming qualities to come along and not be the constant butt of the joke. Enough with the cartoonish archetypes and pratfalls, let's find a man that we can laugh with and not laugh at. Well, what a nice sentiment, and the best of luck to you; the state of comedy is such that every male comedian out there is working their lives trying to jump into the buffoonish husband/father role, as it's the pinnacle of their profession. I won't hold my breath waiting for it, but it's about time someone transcendant in comedy made the leap... the next Bill Cosby. (...who had remarkable talents for spreading the humor around and breaking ground in television overall)

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The New York Post

Single Girl Seeks that Loving Feeling - http://web5.nypost.com/dating/d1.htm

Brooke, Brooke, Brooke, my dear Brooke... it's all our fault, isn't it? How can we be on your side if the first thing you do is say that men are failing to meet your needs because no one you have met will get cozy with you and you alone? That's a double negative - placing blame, and unearthing past defeats that should be left buried. How typical it is of a bad date to bring up the past and all its failures. But Brooke seems to be a sweet girl overall, and somehow I totally bit on the "medium maintenance" line. (What can I say? It seemed sincere! And I'm a complete idiot, too) Moving onto our suitors: The Post must have a sense of humor, as the first two guys seem wholly inappropriate for Brooke, and the third guy is a musclehead. Breaking it down: Geoffrey is too boring, too picky, and too brainy for Brooke - plus, his dating history seems to be exactly what she doesn't want; Josh is worse - cheesy ("I work out!"), too busy (mentions of "buddies" and "work a lot but do occasionally go out on some dates" - no time for a girlfriend, babe), perhaps self-obsessed (paraphrase: "I wanna talk about myself at some point!"), and seemingly metrosexual/trendy; Mike the musclehead actually isn't that bad, though. He's motivated, seemingly polite, and perhaps honest. Or maybe he's a really good liar. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. His dating history aligns well with Brooke's desires, too; both would be happy sticking around each other for a while. She also probably wouldn't mind that he's the suitor without a beer gut. I place my vote with Mike, but Josh lead the poll at the time of this review. Sorry Brooke! Looks like stories from the gym are in your future.